Spring has Sprung?

it must be spring
I feel like
something new is coming

I feel like
the sun is shining
(even when it ain't)
and all is right with the world

I've divested myself
of the winter dreariness
and all it's accompanying drama junkies

I have little or nothing to do
with the people I don't want
to spend time with
and it feels good

I am civil
I am friendly
but I am not friends

there is no need.

each and every day
I release more and more
of that influence
on/in my life

each and every day
I divest myself
of one more understanding
that turns out to be untrue

as a result
I no longer feel a need
to explain to anyone
why I made/make the decisions
I did or will going forward

I no longer feel a need
to honour people
who have dishonoured me
who have been so dishonourable
as to make me doubt myself
who have been
and continue to be
intentionally hurtful

I have set
personal boundaries
in place
in such a manner
that I no longer have to consider
dealing with people who
who are unable
to be honest
integral
or fair

period

I don't miss them
any more than I miss the drama

I do find it humorous
that people are still talking
behind my back
even those I haven't seen in over a year

I'm enjoying having come
to the understanding
that I am adult
and that currently
the only person
that will always
take care of me
is me

I no longer feel a need
for outside voices
to give me direction
and frankly wonder
what was I thinking?

I've been a people pleaser
all my life
however
as a result of some serious
personal growth work...
I no longer feel any kind of a need
to please others
to my own detriment

I no longer feel a need
to care for
honour
trust
or respect
those that can not
or will not
return in kind

I have rediscovered the ability
to find pleasure
and strength
from within
and am no longer
disappointed in myself
for failing myself
and listening to those
who tried to break my spirit

my spirit is grounded
my wisdom is
once again intuitive
my faith is
once again strong
and my foot falls
firmly on my path
*so mote it be*

as for what the future holds?

I'm really hoping
this pending surgery
fixes my eyes enough
that I can ride

I've a friend lined up
to do some recovery work
on the old Pickle girl
cos she's not moved
or even started
in a year

so if all goes well
it looks like I may be riding
sometime this summer

I'm getting the rest of my health
in line
and I'm hoping that skipping
off island holidays this year
will help me
take the final steps
I need to take
to make some larger changes
in my life

Pixie has become both
a god send
and a PITA
but I love it...

Spring has finally sprung
in my heart.

Liars suck

I'm just sayin

...and I'm tired of being sad

does this bike make my butt look big?

today I had to do some running around
on behalf of my unit

whilst driving thru the View Royal area
of the thriving metropolis of Victoria
I happened to be stopped at the lights
at Admirals and Craigflower
waiting to turn left onto Old Island Highway..

a woman comes screaming down the hill
on Old Island Highway
trying to beat the light

she's on one of them 49cc scooters
the ones that don't go very fast
(so screaming down
is a relative term)
and are tiny
(and in my opinion should have to use
the bicycle lanes)

as she rounds the corner
heading away from me
on Admirals
I have a moment
to think

"honey...that's not exactly
a becoming look for you"









and as if that wasn't enough
on my way to the dr's
later this aft

I spot a fellow
sitting at the lights at the 6 Mile
on a scooter

just a tiny bit bigger
wearing a full riding ensemble
helmet
gloves
black leather studded jacket
chaps
motorcycle boots

all I could do was laugh...

it reminded me of a time
when I lived in Minneapolis
that a group of 8 of us
"motorcycle enthusiasts"
pulled to an intersection
beside the largest human being
I have ever seen
fully swathed in a
silver lame
riding suit
a la Elvis...
complete with 3 gold stars
across his back
and a yellow silk scarf
wearing a matching
full faced helmet

riding a moped

we laughed so hard
I had to get off
and park it for a while

so as of this afternoon
I've had the following quote
running thru my head non stop:
"does this bike
make my butt
look big?"

careful now
don't hurt yerself on that.

it makes ya wonder

so last night
I attended a birthday celebration
for my friend Cinderella
a few friends getting together for dinner
most of whom I didn't know
but I'd not seen Cinderella in
"like forever"
so I made a commitment to go

and ya'll know how I am
about integrity
I gave my word
and no matter how much
I detest
going into town
or getting off the couch
when I have not 1, not 2 but 5
good library books
just freshly picked up
or putting my pants on
and going to a restaurant
and explaining my food situation
I went

the dinner was to be held
at Cafe Mexico
and I've eaten there before
albeit a year er so ago
so I perused the menu online
to make sure that I could eat...
given my huge basket
of strange dietary needs

I was pleased that
I was able to find
several opportunities
on the menu.

so I drive downtown
arrive about 15 min early
as is my wont
and drive around for 20 min
looking for a parking spot

get to the restaurant
and run into a couple of people
that I worked with at the call center
not close friends
but people I've not seen
face to face
in 4 years
which is nice

fast forward
and the birthday girl arrives
with her bestest childhood friend The Singer

as karma will sometimes have it
I end up sitting across from The Singer
and eventually her husband
who I oughta know
cos he works at the local dealership

lots of talking ensued
and the end result
was extra nice
we had some really good laughs
told each other some really good stories
and at the end of the evening
Cinderella, the Singer and the Husband and I
had a rousing conversation after everyone else left
about the demon FaceBook
it was much fun
and I was still home
before I turned into a punkin!

but all this is not what make me wonder...

what makes me wonder is this:
when it came time to order dinner
the lovely little server
got farklempt
when I explained the pepper allergy
and once she took our orders
and went into the kitchen
to advise the "chefs" (and I use that term loosely)
of my allergy...

they refused to feed me

she said "they said they throw peppers
and pepper flakes all over back there
so they can't guarantee that there
won't be cross contamination"

so whilst my friends and acquaintances ate
I didn't
Cinderella felt bad
and I felt bad for making her feel bad

anyone that knows me
knows that I've gotten pretty
adept at managing
around my dietary needs
cos I have a whole basket of them

but really?

doesn't it make you wonder
what kind of work space
a restaurant has
that can't say they won't/can't
cross contaminate you?

I've eaten in restaurants
all over this city
and never ever been told
that they'd refuse
to even try

How is it that a place
like the Noodle Box
can feed me
without hurting me
and prides themselves
on being able to do that
but Cafe Mexico
wasn't interested in trying?

Needless to say
Cafe Mexico is off the dining list
going forward

it was still a great night
I saw Cinderella
and made a couple o new pals
in spite of the negative
feelings about the restaurant.

Happy Birthday Cinderella!
yer still a baby LoL

edited to add:
in the wee server's favor
she did comp my 2 glasses of
diet coke cos she felt bad

...the eyes have it...

...but not for long!

Some of you may already know this...but I can't help but talk about it....I'm stoked!

I've been unable to ride due to an eye disease since Nov 08...I'm not a very pleasant person if I can't ride (hell - I'm barely palatable when I can LoL)

I have an eye disease called Map Dot Fingerprint Dystrophy (Cogan's Dystrophy) - in essence my corneas look like cobblestones...plenty of pain, often feels like there's glass in them, water like crazy and I end up not being able to drive cos I can't keep the active or flaring eye open....I end up laying in the dark...with a boomin headache and can't read, can't watch tv, can't be on the puter...for days at a time....and when it gets unbearable I have to impose on one of my friends to take me to the hospital so they can freeze the damn eye to get it to stop.

it's a major PITA...I've been fighting it for about 6 years but the last 2 years have been the real pinnacle

the surgery I need is a type of corneal abrading that will force my cornea to regenerate (Phototherapeutic keratectomy (PTK))...the theory being that the regenerated cornea will be normal and I shouldn't have the issues with my eyes once it's done

so....I need in the ballpark of $5000.00 (anywhere from 1500.00 to 2500.00 an eye) worth of laser surgery and BC Medical wouldn't pay it cos they've decreed that all laser surgery is cosmetic...and I sure as hell ain't got no $5000.00 to throw around...

my arguement all along (once I really found out what it was - cos that was no walk in the park either) in my case the surgery won't won't "repair" my vision like it would if I was getting PRK (Photorefractive Keratectomy) which is the surgery they do so you don't have to wear glasses anymore

I keep saying that I'll happily wear glasses for the rest of my life if I just don't have to have sore peepers....and if I don't have sore peepers...I can ride!

today word came in that the surgeon has finally been able to convince the MSP board that I should be funded and that they have agreed.

So I get to have the surgery on the 4th of June...that fact in itself wasn't any kind of a celebration because my boss tried to tell me that it meant that I'd have to cancel all my holidays this summer if I took a week off to have this surgery...but after several phone calls and some "information sharing" via our HR dept it's booked!

So about a week recovery

and then if all goes well I can go back to work....but mostly I can insure the Pickle and see if I can get the old girl to start.

Dear Asshat...

let's have a little discussion
on the do's and don'ts
of merging in traffic

shall we?

Instructions to merge right when the left lane ends are as follows:

• Good judgment and good timing are necessary to merge smoothly with the faster-moving traffic.

• Motorists should reach proper speed so that the driver can merge smoothly into the travel lane when the way is clear.

• Always use the proper left turn signal to indicate the need to enter the traffic lane.

• Drivers already on the roadway should, for their own safety, make allowance for vehicles attempting to enter.

• It is the driver's responsibility to yield the right-of-way to other cars on the roadway when changing lanes.

• Remember that through lanes always have right of way over on ramps and lanes ending, so merge sooner rather than later if at all possible.

No where in there does it say:

• Come screaming up on the left going fast as hell in some half baked attempt to beat the whole line of traffic in the fight lane

• Don't bother signaling cos the idiot in the right lane knows yer gonna wanna be in his/her lane right where his/her car is

• Don't bother looking over your shoulder cos cos the idiot in the right lane knows yer gonna wanna be in his/her lane right where his/her car is

• Flash the person in the right lane the bird and lay on your horn cos they don't slow down to let you in front of them...

cos really?

you just end up
looking like the asshat
you are
and you get
to the next intersection
approximately 30 seconds
before I do.

Asshat.