Blue Collar

do your dreams
come with music?

mine do

last night it was all about
a lady named Rosealee
who runs a dinghy
basement pub
in Britain

she's hard done by
and her custom
treats her like crap

I woke up twice
and when I went back to sleep
it was to the same dream

and all the way through
this song was playing....



weird eh?

Luck of the Draw

did you ever wonder
what exactly it was
that you did
to make yer life
turn out
the way it has?

the VOD says
it's the
Luck of the Draw

I'm thinkin she may be right

in my life time
I've known some pretty nice
and some pretty not so nice people

I've known some
full on sociopaths
and some
that are down right saintly

I've lived a hard life
in the past....

and I think sometimes
that in doing so
I set myself up
to be able to handle
all this bad health
now....

cos really?
what's a hard life do
more than
make you appreciate
the good
and make you patient?
(if you live through it)

so how is it
that I'm still here?

Luck of the Draw.
plain and simple

any one of the
shady people I've known
coulda offed me
at any time
well really?
a couple have actually tried

hell
I probably tried
myself...
subconsciously

as a result
I don't take threats lightly
I don't suffer fools,
drunks, liars or philanderers well

after all this time
I've ended up
with a hell of a sardonic
sense of humour
and a personality
that people have
sometimes called Wyz

I don't know me...?
I think the VOD
may be on to something

and it's simply
Luck of the Draw.

What an absolutely fabulous weekend

this past weekend I spent
in the home of my good friends
Louie n Buzz

there was no fuss
there was no drama
there was no game playing
there was no bullshit
there was no hurt feelings
there was no stupidity
there were no unwanted visitors
there was no antagonism
there was no one trying to manipulate
there was no accusations
there was no liars
there was no name callers
there was no fight starters
there was no screaming
there was no mean

there were just good friends

there was tons of laughter
and relaxation
in spite of having not one
but two separate infections
at the moment
it was one of the nicest
weekends I've had in a
year er two...

now that's what I'm talking about!

there was.....

meow mien
coff

jeopardy
coff

don't do that less yer gonna marry me
coff coff

zzzzzzzzzzz
coff

Hobgoblin
coff

good books
coff

did you take your pills?
coff

coffee
coff

red kettle
coff

the news
coff

knickers
coff

the news
coff

lingereee
coff

the news
coff

the news
coff

watch what you want
no you watch what you want
no you
no you

coff
coff
coff

Julie Newmar
coff

New Moon
coff

the kid eats' his own body weight once a day
coff

Booker Todd
coff

shop vac
coff

nothing left but a sucked dry husk!
coff

and laughing
lots and lots of laughing

it's been a long time
since I had such a pleasant time
and I am truly grateful

did ya ever wonder

what it is
that brings people to your blog
to read?

did you ever wonder what it was
that you could say or do
that would attract others?

I have
over the course of the time
I've had this blog
written about personal feelings
occurrences and events in my life

and a rather lengthy story
based on my personal experiences
in my misspent youth
(yes...I know...it's yet to be finished
...what? am I outta time er sommat???
LoL)

In August of 2005
a friend of mine passed away
in a motorcycle accident

it was devastating for me personally
and for my then
rather large group of friends

I wrote an eulogy for him
that I read
and almost got completely through
at his service

a few people that could afford to
got honorarium tattoos
and those of us
who couldn't afford to get inked
chose to do some fund raising
for his widow and children

the following year
going into riding season
we had a memorial ride...
(always held at a
close friend's home)
and at that time
I also penned a "Toast to Absent Friends"

it has always been a tradition in my
own family to toast absent friends
and I expounded upon the original
familial "here's to absent friends"
and posted the toast here
in May of 2006

to date
more than 35%
of the close to 30, 000 visits
to this blog
that I have tracked
since Nov of 06
have been people searching
for a Toast to Absent Friends.

I'm honoured.

I guess that means
that the other 65%
of the people tracked
are those of you
that swear categorically
that you don't read
save the 6-10 of you that
actually admit to reading
regularly....HA!

Yah,...all you people
that think you are here
incognito
yah...not so much!

again
who exactly do you think
yer foolin?

on the sufrace

it all seems fine

but it ain't

at what point does one
throw up their hands in resignation
and just abdicate?

at what point
does the level of disappointment
and disenchantment
supersede
the levels of peace and pleasure

at what point do you just give up?

how many times do you allow people
to intentionally hurt your feelings
before you throw in the towel?

when I see people being manipulated
or lied to
is it my responsibility to tell them
or should I be the coward the rest
of them are
and bide my time
to swoop in
like the avenging hero
and pick up the pieces
when they break like the proverbial
china doll?

it certainly seems safer
cowardly
but safer....

my lack of enthusiasm for
this whole community
has got me to a point
where I'd just rather
switch than fight

sure
I miss riding
but I don't miss the bullshit
I don't miss the promises of help
that don't come through

sure
it hurts to not be invited anymore
by this group of people
that I thought that were
cherished as friends
but in the long run
they've shown me their true colors
(or lack thereof)

they've shown me
that's it's more important
to play
than to be honest
than to be truthful
than to be moral

it's more important
to look cool
and intentionally hurt someone
you professed to care about

people that have the ability to justify
any action
by blaming others

so
a husband has an affair
he finally gets around to telling his wife
but he doesn't move out
he doesn't man up and accept his due
he manipulates her into believing
that it's her fault
cos she doesn't understand him
or cos she got fat
or cos she got sick

yup
that's moral

and what about the gutter snipe
that he was sleeping with?
what happens to her?
why she gets to move on and
ruin another life....
cos people are too
passive aggressive
to call a slut a slut

or

a person lies to the face of a friend
and then denies it categorically
and the person who is hurt
gets ostracized
by not one
not two
even 3 or 4 of them

yup
that's fair

a person
who has done absolutely nothing to you
and has been central to your friendships
for a couple of years
doesn't get invited to anything
all summer

and you call them a drama queen

and when you do see them
your all fake and phony
and hug them
and tell them how much you've missed them

liars.

cept maybe they're lyin
more to themselves
than anyone else....
cos that's how you justify
your lack of kindness

I've never asked anyone
to live by my specific rules
I've just asked for people I know
to live by basic social mores
and to try to be kind....

apparently
that's too much for them

or they will be silent
because there's safety in silence
they don't run the risk
of being ostracized too

someone smart
said something profound to me today
she said "we became family
but we didn't know them"
I think she's right
we loved them because we projected
what we needed to see in them
but at the end of the day
they are all morally bankrupt
and who needs that shit
in their lives?

so....

I'll just sit back
from here on in
and watch the karma

I'll sit and
watch them all get their dues

that won't make me happy either

cos on the surface

it all seems fine

but it ain't

'ware the retrograde....

Mercury retrograde in Libra & Virgo [Sep. 7 – Sep. 29, 2009]

From Astrology on the Web www.astologycom.com

At 04:46 UT (Universal Time), on Monday, September 7th, 2009, Mercury the cosmic trickster turns retrograde at 6°13' Libra, in the sign of the Scales, sending communications

, travel, appointments, mail and the www into a general snarlup! The retro period begins some days before the actual turning point (as Mercury slows) and lasts for three weeks or so, until Sep. 29, when the Winged Messenger

reaches his direct station. At this time he halts and begins his return to direct motion through the zodiac.

Everything finally straightens out on October 18, as he passes the point where he first turned retrograde. Mercury normally turns retrograde three times a year, but this year he turns tail four times, which is unusual. The effects of each period differ, according to the sign in which it happens (see box for Retrograde Periods in 2009).

I seriously dislike it

when the actions of others
make me unsure of myself

I dislike it when someone else's actions
hurt me and make me wonder what's wrong with me

I dislike it when people manipulate
and play games so often
that I begin to doubt my own sanity
cos I know I can not trust their credibility

no one is above reproach
even the people that tout
trust, respect and loyalty
lie to me

I agonize and question everything in my life these days
I've been lied to so often by people that I trusted
that even when they do come clean with the truth
a little of my heart breaks each time

and I'm tired of feeling wrong
when I know I'm right

and again...I am dead tired of people lying to me

less and less of you can be trusted
without trust there is no respect

where does that leave you?
was it worth the lie?

I hope so
cos I'm done.

did ya ever

find yourself saying something
to someone
and knowing that you've never said it before
but also knowing that it's an epiphany

here's one for you
"breach of trust is a long term recovery"

i.e. when someone breaches your trust
it could take years to recover
your relationship with that person

if you ever recover it at all

mayhap the real question would be
do you even want to be involved
in a recovery process?

mayhap the trust breached
is not recoverable?

mayhap there is no recovery to be had?

heavy thoughts for starting the morning

Where is the love...?

What's wrong with the world mama?
People living like aint got no mamas
I think the whole worlds addicted to the drama
Only attracted to the things that bring you trauma
Overseas yeah we tryin to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin
In the USA the big CIA the Bloodz and the Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And if you hatin you're bound to get irate
Yeah madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
You gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love y'all

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(where is the lovex3)(the love2x)

It just ain't the same all ways have changed
New days are strange is the world the insane?
If love and peace so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations dropping bombs
Chemical gases filling lungs of little ones
With ongoing suffering
As the youth die young
So ask yourself is the loving really strong?
So I can ask myself really what is going wrong
With this world that we living in
People keep on giving in
Makin wrong decisions
Only visions of them livin and
Not respecting each other
Deny thy brother
The wars' going on but the reasons' undercover
The truth is kept secret
Swept under the rug
If you never know truth
Then you never know love
Where's the love y'all?(I don't know)
Where's the truth y'all?(I don't know)
Where's the love y'all?

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father father father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(where is the lovex3)(the lovex2)

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm getting older y'all people get colder
Most of us only care about money makin
Selfishness got us followin the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting their young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what the see in the cinema
Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love, we're spreading anomosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling down
It's no wonder why sometimes I'm feeling under
I gotta keep my faith alive, until love is found

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(fade)

again....

I don't get people....

here's a couple of definitions....

inclusive: that includes; enclosing; embracing.
exclusive: omitting from consideration or account

get it?

people...
all you do is intentionally hurt others
people that you professed to love
people that have done you no wrong

do you really think that your bragging ways
will not catch up to you?

do you really think that pointedly excluding specific people
because you think that the latest "toady" is the hot shit
do you really think that it is not going to burn you in the end?

how completely naive...

maybe while I'm at it
I should remind ya'll of the definition of:
friendship?
respect?
trust?

then again...maybe not...you likely wouldn't understand
you'd just continue to self righteously justify your actions
while excluding and hurting people you said you loved
to be included in the "gang"

hope you enjoy looking at yourself in the mirror

if you don't talk to her about why she left
what would make you think that your actions
would not be held suspect?
considered knowingly mean and spiteful?

are you people for real?

probably not...

I'm just tired of the open displays of meanness
I continue to be shocked and appalled...

but I guess I shouldn't be surprised

after all...
look what I got
from all my "real" friends

This is the VOD...

this is the VOD on crack

well - not really
but sometimes I wonder

a mth ago
the last time I went to the fadder's
I decided to go back up to Fanny Bay
for the long weekend

I was delighted when my boss
decided I could take Friday as a holiday day
thereby making it a 4 day long weekend!

so at that time I suggested to the VOD
that she should come too
and visit with the bother again

and since that time
we have spoken at least once a day on the subject
and she has changed her mind
literally
daily
if not
twice a day

so finally I pin her down yesterday
and she says that the bother isn't gonna be home
for the weekend
and I should go on my own

I call the bother and he confirms
that he likely won't be home

this is ok!
this means I can leave right from work

so I have to pack my car up in the morning
to avoid the 1/2 hr drive back home
to pick up gear
at the end of the day
no big
but requires some organization

so all day long today
I'm making lists in my head
lists to go along with the work ones
cos our big seasonal launch happens
in part tomorrow
and in part on the 11th

but also
cos the PTB have decided
to paint our office
so we have to have everything
boxed up to be moved
by the end of my shift tomorrow

and when I come back
I'll be working out of an empty office
elsewhere on our floor for a couple of days
while the painting is completed

anyhooo
I'm driving home from work tonight
once more going over the list in my head
for taking away for the weekend
and my cell phone rings

guess who?

apparently the bother was here for half the day
and has now talked her into
going up for the weekend with me
but he's only going to be home on Fri and Sat
and then he's coming down here
cos the nefew is moving back
to attend his 2nd year of U

so on Sunday he'll be driving down with the kid
and now she doesn't know if she should make
me drive all the way home to pick her up
for just 2 days

gak!
I suggest she can come back down with him on Sat
and she's all concerned about how hard it will be on him
hell - he does that to see his latest girlfriend!

I guess a 3 hour drive
seems like a tough haul when yer 80
sheesh!
I don't see it getting any easier tho...

ya just gotta laugh
no?

Still Got the Blues

gotta love a guy
that's really really good
at what he does....

and ya'll know
I loves me some
real down and dirty blues