writing vs storytelling

one thing
I am full on certain of
is that I am not
have never been
nor ever will be

a wordsmith - a writer

a couple of friends of mine
do major crossword puzzles daily
me?
not so much
my brain doesn't work like that

my boss quotes poetry
and literature (lit er at chewer - don't you know?)
at the drop of a hat
me?
not so much
I fall asleep...

me?
I have the knack
for turning a phrase
cussing like a muleskinner
and putting a funny or ironic spin
on just about anything...

so this I do know
I know
that what I can do
is tell a story

I get lots of pokes from people
about not writing things
on this blog much

well
part of that
is the audience

these people
that pester me to write
are also the people
that can't or won't handle the truth

these people that pester me
to carry on in here
really want me to take shots
at people
under the guise of friendships
that I no longer have or hold dear

I've learned
that I have to guard
what I want to share
these days
er I end up
knee deep
in bull shit
that I want
no part of

I'm a Lion
hear me roar
means I have to tell it
like I see it
but very few people
can handle the cold truth
the calling of the spade
as it were...

so I've made it a practice
to reign in my thoughts
and not get to much of a point
of late

that being said...
I'm frustrating myself.

mostly
I've convinced myself
that I'm boring
and who the hell would want to read
this clabber
anyway...

still
I know I can turn a phrase
when I have a story to tell

it's more visual to say
"Pixie yakked on me"
than to say "my dog is ill"

it's more visual to say
"the traffic coming home today today was
something like a slow trip to hell"
than to say
"it took me an hour longer than expected
to get home"

I sometimes wonder
what it is
that's lacking in my brain
that won't allow me to put together
the word with the idea presented
in a crossword puzzle
yet allows me to see a word jumble
most times
right outta the gate

what it is about my brain
that won't allow me
to stay awake
long enough
to read anything
that might be of educational value

sometimes it bothers me
but having a clearer understanding
of my place in the world of storytellers
of my lot
of my craft...
makes me understand
that not everything
is story worthy

and sometimes
even when it is story worthy
it's easier
to hold back
than to ruffle feathers...
no matter the strength of my convictions