kickin ass and taking names

I've been thinking…

it seems that the major thorn in the side of everyone over this holiday was me…

the very fact that I was even there seemed to be more than "he" could bear

he was civil….but obviously unable to be comfortable or friendly towards me... and although I have done nothing to him, he continues to treat me with open derision...he who professed to be my closest friend....now he's accusing others of "choosing to take my side over his wife's"…

not so

and yet another assumption has been made by one of them…for people who stress that they will no longer make assumptions...they are too busy assuming to simply ask...

I think I may be done and I think I may be leaving the club that became a club when we left the other club...because I will not be abused by people who said they were my friends...and can't understand the breadth of what they did to me...and are still doing to me...(and he has the nerve to talk about the people that stabbed him in the back? what is he....fucking 12?)

I am tired of feeling hurt....and I'm tired of trying to couch my words and gestures on the off chance that they might be taken in the wrong way by them because they are so fucking defensive...they can't even return friendly emails...apparently no matter what I say or do I'm gonna be wrong...so why fucking bother?

I gave "her" every opportunity to apologize to me face to face - something she only did via email once I asked her to via this blog...but again...they are above reproach

I gave her every opportunity to take me aside and talk to me about this...she chose not to...

I "allowed" her to talk to me and another of my friends like we were something that should be scrapped offa the bottom of her shoe when she decided to 'straighten us out about Idaho"…because I'm willing to admit that I may have been wrong in my "interpretation of the facts as listed" (funny that there were several others that had the same understanding tho)

and I even spent an uncomfortable afternoon as a captive audience in her car while we were in Idaho in an attempt to allow for smoothing things over...

not so much...

I have repeatedly gone outside of the bounds of my personal comfort levels in an attempt to "make it good for the all"...because a couple of friends asked me to...and because right from the beginning of this I have been focused on "saving" a friendship....

but it didn't work... apparently it was a mistake...I can only surmise that it didn't work because they don't believe that there was a wrongdoing...but I hate to surmise...so I will go by my gut....and my gut says that so far what I've seen is that the best defense is an offence on their part...so....

In the end….I've just suffered thru the worst holiday of my adult life...through no fault of my own...I think I'm finished feeling like shit and having my friends be treated poorly simply cos they are my friends

What I do know (yet again) is that I didn't do anything wrong...I'm tired of having to remind myself that I did nothing wrong...but I do because I am a people pleaser (it's a curse!)

I will say this....at no time have I asked anyone to take my side - you can bank on that....I simply told anyone who asked me the truth of what occurred...and actually I've requested that people make their judgements based on their own experiences with him and her…. not mine (try asking them if you have the balls - they'll set you straight)....but they are so busy making accusations they can't spend the time it takes to clearly communicate with the remainder of their friends...let alone me...

From what I can glean…him and her are upset that I let others know what she'd done...well gee...that's just too bad...shoulda thought of someone besides themselves in the first fucking place...

People can only hurt me this deeply when I open myself to them by loving them...I won't make that mistake again...my only solace now is that I am not alone in feeling like the wool has been pulled over my eyes....I am, apparently, in good company....

and while I'm making myself clear.....know this.....there isn't any chance in hell that I would have not called him and her to let them know about Bull's passing if I knew...I'd have moved heaven and hell to make sure they got you the news....not let us find out 24 hours later via some fucking text message....cos there's some kind of fucking pissing contest going on here...

IMHO that's just childish and vengeful...and I guess there's my proof

My Grandma used to say…"the thing about lying or being mean behind some one's back is that people will always talk and the truth will come out in the end" and she used to also say that "if you've done nothing wrong..there's no danger in speaking your mind"

so going forward...I am officially kicking ass and taking names…I'm through being shit on from lofty heights…and I’m through taking the high road…

him and her have made their bed…and now they can lie in it…with themselves…they've burnt their bridges....
their doing
not mine.....
they've made their choices…and now I'm making mine….do ya remember "Wyz choices"? http://wyzwmnsworld.blogspot.com/2007/07/wyz-choices.html

it still rings true....