Coasting..

I realized
while wandering through
the some 140 blogs
and different industry news feeds
that I peruse daily
and the resultant links
that I come across....

that there's a lot of people
that are really engaged
in their lives...

really excited
about their topics...

really invested
in what they are doing....

I don't seem to be
at the moment.

I'm coasting.

maybe it's the aftermath
of the blister's visit,
and all the resultant drama
(none of which landed on me
this time I am happy to say)

maybe it's the result of
seeing the light
at the end of the tunnel
debt wise...

or maybe it's that it's the portion
of my job's yearly cycle
where we start to wind down...

or maybe it's me feeling my age
and my shock over the very idea
that I'll be 55 in July
and here in BC that will qualify me
for "adult" housing...

coupled with the number of deaths
that have affected my soul
in one manner or another
since the New Year...

or my health - er lack thereof...

yet still the Dr's seem to be getting
things sorted slowly but surely
except for my eyes
and that's a work in progress too

and it's not like I can stop death anyway
I am a realist

or maybe it's the cacophony
of noise white, dark or otherwise
that grips my life
continually...
cos really?
there is no quiet in my life
when I live in a building
with paper thin walls
and neighbours with xbox
and surround sound...

or maybe it's just that I'm
worn out
tired
right
to
my
core.

I feel like I'm coasting...

I'm not writing often
I'm not reading much
I'm not doing housework
I'm not watchin marathon amounts of tv
I pretty much vegging
and not doing much
but playing with the puppy
and resting...

that can't be a bad thing?