In Line - Robert Skoro

Your address hangs on my wall
And I've got nothing at all
To remember you by
But I've been waiting for days on end
For you to call
And I never got to say good-bye
To you, my friend

And I swear that I can feel you
Creeping underneath my skin
And it feels like Heaven to me, sometimes
But I don't understand
Why you just can't let me in
And I close my eyes and just let it all fall in line

And we could wait a while
Let everything have it's way
Crack a secret, subtle smile
And everything will be OK
But I promise you that I won't leave you here
I couldn't do that to myself
And not again, not with you, my friend

And I swear that I can feel you
Creeping underneath my skin
And it feels like Heaven to me, sometimes
But I don't understand
Why you just can't let me in
And I close my eyes and just let it all fall in line

And just let it all
Let it all fall in line
And just let it all
Let it all fall in line
And just let it all
Let it all fall in line

...so mote it be

tonight...on this the eve of Litha
I use someone else's words
to pray for the Gulf of Mexico
and it's inhabitants
large and small....

















I send the energy
of love and gratitude
to the waters
and all living creatures
in the Gulf of Mexico
and its surroundings.

To the whales,
dolphins,
pelicans,
fish,
shellfish,
plankton,
corals,
algae
...humankind ...
to ALL living creatures ......

I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I Love You.

~so mote it be!

"Please join me in often repeating this Healing Prayer by Dr. Emoto"

well then...

for those of you that don't know...
the surgery went well

I ended up being off a week longer
that originally thought

my eyes are healing well now
and over the next 6 weeks
will likely change
more than once
so that I won't be able
to get my glasses Rx adjusted
until then
which makes for good days
and not so good days
but in the end...
the lion's share of the pain is gone
and that's what I was aiming for

I've had a talk
with the Dr's about
setting clearer expectations
for people in the future
cos really
if people that have to pay for the surgery
knew how much it would cos for after treatment
IE...6 kinds of eye drops etc...
they'd prolly re-think the whole thing...
and if they knew it would effect their
ability to drive or work
they may re-think as well

and I can go back to work on Monday

I have mixed emotions
about going back to work after virtually
a mth off (I've been off virtually straight thru
since the 21st of last mth)
I find I'm actually looking forward to having
something to do
although I continue to be concerned
about straining my eyes

so here's a couple of tidbits
I thought of while I was offline...

over the time I was off
I received a myriad of messages
via email, face book and phone
from people
who under the auspices
of friendship
trying to "guilt" me into
doing something for them

donating to charity
volunteering my time
giving of myself
for their benefit

I apparently am missing that gene

I spent virtually 25 yrs on and off
working for a national charity
and one of the reasons I did so
was cos I get so bored watching
people drink at events
that I started working them
to have something to do

but I also had a real belief
in the charity
so it's not inappropriate
that it turns out
that one of my personal afflictions
is the very item that I chose to support
all those years ago

at this time in my life
I believe 2 things
one is that I've paid my dues
and two is that ya can't guilt people
into doing the doing
they have to do it
cos they want to
not cos you bombarded them
with whiny requests, questions
and not so friendly reminders

another thought
is the concept
of personal responsibility

it's all well and good
to make a pecksniffian decision
to not rehash the past
but it speaks volumes
to a person's inability
to accept personal responsibility
for their actions

several people have made mention
of this idea to me lately
and I find it repugnant
cos in my world
if you don't learn from the past
how can you effectively move into the future?

oh...cos you don't care

on another front
if you ask me a question
be damn sure you want the answer

and have I mentioned
the wee man next door recently?
ya oughta try a mth of:
the stereo from hell
firing up all day
and then again at 11pm
and the friends
showing up and trying to get into
my yard cos they are too drunk
to figure out it's not his
or banging on his patio door
in the middle of the night
and sitting in they yard
smoking splifs?

dood?
do you really think
you are the only person
living in this building?
shut the fuck up!

ok
enough ranting for one day.

Peepers

so
tomorrow is the big day

peeper surgery

I sincerely hope this works

and I sincerely hope that
I am not expecting too much
from this

I am surprisingly
not scared
like I am
the day before
most surgeries

I am actually excited
and not the least bit worried
about the pain
cos I know I have a high threshold
and srsly
how much more painful
can it be
than the dark days
over the last couple of years?
so
apparently I'm a little sic
around the edges...

Earth
Air
Fire
and
Water
bring strength
and cunning
to the hands
of the surgeon
and make the healing process
as easy as I can hope for

So Mote It Be!

it's all about the benjamins...

you know those commercials you see
for gamblers anonymous?

think of how we all feel
such a tug at our heart strings
when we hear stories
about people
who are addicted to
"the thrill" of the win
so much so
that they
leave their kids
in the car
for hours on end?
or they spend
their whole pay check
on gambling

now think of how business in general
manipulates us

now think of business
as it relates to
having made a practice
of planned obsolescence.

lets start with the example
of cable tv

say you can only afford
basic cable
and you subscribe to same
you are subject to the whims
of the corporation
over time
they change the channels
and what used to be
a fun evening at home
is now populated
by re-runs of shows
you watched 10 yrs ago
movies on the local channels
that are more than 20 years old
cos the cable co
has moved the good stuff
the new and hip stuff
to HD or Digital

that's fair from the standpoint
of the corporation...
because they can entice you
to greater expenditure
should you want to watch
any kind of tv
that requires
more than one
active brain cell.

so when you leave home
as a young adult
you start out with a small tv
in your first apartment
all to soon
it's not big enough
so you upgrade to a larger one
then you upgrade to an even larger one
then a flat screen
then digital
after all
you have to have digital tv
if you want to properly see
the digital cable channels you now
pay for monthly
and you end up having to move home
cos you can't cover your debts

but...what happens to the old ones?

now think of movies
first it was theater only
then beta
then VHS
then dvd
then blue-ray

what happens to the old ones?

now think of
AM/FM radio
then the turntable
soon your vinyl albums
are passe
so you upgrade to cassette
then to DVD
then to MP3

now think of pictures
first it was 110
then Polaroid
then 35mm
then digital
then 2MP's
3MP's, 5MP's, 10, 12, 18MPs
then zoom, then SLR

what happens to the old ones?

now think communication devices
household phones with a dial
household phones with a keypad
household phones with caller ID
cell phone in a bag
big blocky heavy cell phones
flip phones
slim phones
phones with camera's
phones you can get online with
smart phones

what happens to the old ones?

and then the almighty computer

starting with the abacus
the astrolabe
the slide rule
teleprinters
keypunch machines
then typewriters
and calculators
moving on to word processors
and pocket calculators
to programmable devices
and on to the current
version of windows or mac

each type of sound or picture or tool
requires a new device

what happens to the old ones?

back to tv
think of the caliber of tv we watch regularly
what happened in society
to allow us
to be dictated to
by business in general?

big business decides that
reality tv
is better than tv that tells stories
big business decides that
informative, useful, intelligent
shows come off the air
in lieu of re-runs and pap

big business comes up with
quick foods that make us fat
tv has reality shows
to embarrass us into losing weight

big business comes up with
concepts for good tv
but you can only watch them
if you pay more money
and subscribe to a dish
or a better cable package

big business
designs all the tools
to watch better tv
to listen to better music
to see better pictures

now think of houses
in the 40's a family home
consisted of approx 938 sq ft
had no tv
had no garage
had no car
had little or no lawn

now the average home
consists of 3429 sq feet (2004 consensus)
has a tv/phone/stereo/computer
in every room
has several bathrooms
and a couple of acres to mow

there is no original thought
big business has made it all about the benjamins
and they've made it a culture
of walking poor
of people that don't have all of the above
feeling like losers
and less than
cos they can't compete

so big business is creating a culture
of people
that like the gamblers
I spoke of earlier
are addicted
to their crack of choice...
to "keeping up with the Jone's"
to not feeling less than
cos they are have not's...

big business has made a practice
of tugging at our heart strings
to make us involve our wallets
or in most cases
our credit cards
and debt load...

big business is destroying the planet
and the people that live on it
have become sheep

now....don't get me started
on the subject
of the royal screwing
that the farmer is getting
by big business.

the WWW...

here's the thing
about the world wide web

I continually run into things
that make me happy
or
make me think...

today it's a quote
that is relevant to me

"Sometimes you put walls up
not to keep people out,
but to see who cares enough
to break them down. - anonymous"

I think this
used to be a
really relevant
concept to me

but I also think
that it's way past
it's time
for me

I think that my days
of hoping that people
cared enough
to break
down the walls
stopped..

stopped when I found
that the people
I'd hoped
would break them down
were
untrustworthy.

so I moved on

it's been a long
sometimes
painful process
but I think
that moving on
was the best thing for me

part of moving on
was facing reality

part of moving on
was understanding
that my believing
that people were
worthy of my friendship
or my love..

was just that....my belief

somehow
in all the racket
and drama that ensued
I discovered
one or two
cherished people
that seem to have
figured me out

people that don't
lie to me for my own good
people that understand
I'd rather hear the truth
from them and be a little miffed/hurt
than find out in retrospect
that they lied
thereby being hurt more
and unable to trust

I've also found out
that there are people
worthy of confrontation
and people
who are so sure that they are
continually, miraculously
above reproach
that they ain't worth
(as the VOD says)
the powder to blow em
to hell...
they ain't worth
the breath it takes
to call them names.

so much so that
on my recent holiday
I noticed
that something
was lacking

I wondered
if it was all the discussions
and histrionics
that used to happen
around the planning
of any holiday
in the past?
the to-ing and fro-ing
of who was doing what?
bringing what?
taking what?
travelling with whom?

turns out
what was missing
was the drama

there is a void
where the drama
perpetrated by others
used to live in my life

it doesn't really change me
it just makes me
the tiniest bit wiser
and
ever
so
damn
happy!