the WWW...

here's the thing
about the world wide web

I continually run into things
that make me happy
or
make me think...

today it's a quote
that is relevant to me

"Sometimes you put walls up
not to keep people out,
but to see who cares enough
to break them down. - anonymous"

I think this
used to be a
really relevant
concept to me

but I also think
that it's way past
it's time
for me

I think that my days
of hoping that people
cared enough
to break
down the walls
stopped..

stopped when I found
that the people
I'd hoped
would break them down
were
untrustworthy.

so I moved on

it's been a long
sometimes
painful process
but I think
that moving on
was the best thing for me

part of moving on
was facing reality

part of moving on
was understanding
that my believing
that people were
worthy of my friendship
or my love..

was just that....my belief

somehow
in all the racket
and drama that ensued
I discovered
one or two
cherished people
that seem to have
figured me out

people that don't
lie to me for my own good
people that understand
I'd rather hear the truth
from them and be a little miffed/hurt
than find out in retrospect
that they lied
thereby being hurt more
and unable to trust

I've also found out
that there are people
worthy of confrontation
and people
who are so sure that they are
continually, miraculously
above reproach
that they ain't worth
(as the VOD says)
the powder to blow em
to hell...
they ain't worth
the breath it takes
to call them names.

so much so that
on my recent holiday
I noticed
that something
was lacking

I wondered
if it was all the discussions
and histrionics
that used to happen
around the planning
of any holiday
in the past?
the to-ing and fro-ing
of who was doing what?
bringing what?
taking what?
travelling with whom?

turns out
what was missing
was the drama

there is a void
where the drama
perpetrated by others
used to live in my life

it doesn't really change me
it just makes me
the tiniest bit wiser
and
ever
so
damn
happy!