Thursday, March 30, 2006

Do ya ever?

Do ya ever get tired of listening
to all the negatives?

I do

I'm tired of all the messages being
about what's wrong
and so few being about what's right

I'm tired of hearing about war
and murder
and pestilence

I'm tired of hearing about killing
and hurt
and pain

I'm also tired of the good stuff
coming in the guise of reality

why can't we just have some positives?
why can we stress what's good
without being considers schmaltzy?
or sappy?
or wussy?

Do you ever get tired of listening
to what's wrong?
instead of what's right?

I do

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Today I am humbled

I think that you may know that I've had some issues with my trike over the winter...

I blew the motor in Sept, then had a wiring fire and the 30 year old wiring burnt to a friggin crisp - I was to have a new front end put on it (that was a gift from friends last summer - forks to replace my bent ones, handlebars, grips and a purple front fender) - and an acquaintance (the friend of a friend) has had the old girl in his garage since Sept -

I've been concerned as I barely know these people - and although he's a mechanic - I was worried that he would be out of his element when putting on the new parts...and besides - how the hell am I supposed to pay for all this when I've had to take so much time off since October to take care of my mom?

Then there's the shoulder....they live about 2 hours up the Island from me and I have been putting off going up to get it because of my shoulder injury...but the longer it sits up there the more guilty I feel so....

Today I called to tell the folks that have it that I am coming to get it...they said ok...and we hung up....15 minutes later the phone rings and it's the same people saying I can't come today - "oh...are you busy?" says I..."no...it's not ready"...immediately I think that there is something wrong - it's been months that they've been saying all the work is done and I've been saving so that I could pay them something for all their efforts

After some hemming and hawing she comes clean...turns out that the reason I can't pick it up is cos they are installing a new CDplayer/stereo - and besides "the new front fender isn't back from the painter" ...?

"WTF!" says I - "who ordered all that? I can't pay for that! WTF is going on?"

Seems that these people have installed my motor, refurbished my paint job, installed the new front end parts, rewired the old girl and one of them is even having my purple fender painted the same color and size green metalflake as the rest of the trike - and just because they know I'm music obsessed they are putting in a cd player for me too!

I cried....I'm sure I'm not worthy...but I sure as hell am happy!

So I call the VOD to tell her all about it - cos I'm so happy that I just want to share - and doesn't she say something mean?

I don't get it...if I'm such a nice person that people that barely know me think enough of me to help me out in this way - and my own mother can't even share in my happiness...

I don't get it.

"Colorgenics" Personal Profile

Much of the time you are preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature. You need stimulation and variation with all matters pertaining to your life. You want to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality being able to charm and influence others. You use powerful strategies with predictable outcomes so as to avoid endangering your chances of success or undermining other people's confidence in you.

You are very self-sufficient and methodical. You presume to know where you are going but need to find a person who will recognise the way you are, not be too demanding and who is, as they say in Italy, 'Simpatico'.

Compromise is the name of the game at this time and it is the only way you can avoid being deprived of the love and affection you so rightly deserve -so soften up a little, be flexible.

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

Whatever you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong and you are now quite convinced that there is little point of formulating new objectives and it is this belief that has resulted in the stress and anxiety. You would like to be able to communicate with other people who think as you do. At this time there seems to be no-one on the horizon nor is there any prospect of meeting anyone in the immediate future. But it must be said that you are really a 'trier' and indications are that you will, as indeed you have in the past, 'bounce back'.


try yours here

Friday, March 24, 2006

It's been a year...

it's been a year since I started doing this
this writing my stuff so people
may
or
may
not
see it

it's been quite a year of ups and downs...

tonight I'm thinking thoughts
of Lucky - who died
of friends I have made
of changes
and of stangnacy

thru this venue
I've come closer once again
to understanding
the workings of this wheel
that I call life

I'm remembering
to pay it forward as often as I can
I'm remembering
to be nice even when they don't deserve it
I'm remembering
to love even when it seems too late
I'm remembering
to help even when I'm too tired

it's been quite a year
how about another?

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Live LIfe

Live.
And Live Well.
BREATHE.
Breathe in and Breathe deeply.
Be PRESENT.
Do not be past.
Do not be future.
Be now.
On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin.
Feel the warmth of the sun.
If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE.
Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time.
If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well.
Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done-a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed.
If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old's nose, don't be disgusted if the Kleenex didn't catch it all… because soon he'll be wiping his own.
If you've recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE.
And Grieve well.
At the table with friends and family, LAUGH.
If you're eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke.
And if you eat, then SMELL.
The aromas are not impediments to your day.
Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven.
And TASTE.
Taste every ounce of flavor.
Taste every ounce of friendship.
Taste every ounce of Life.
Because-it-is-most-definitely-a-Gift.

-The Final Written Words of Pastor Kyle Lake (1972 - 2005)

Monday, March 20, 2006

A Quote for the Day

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - author unknown

Sunday, March 19, 2006

The Truth According to WyzWmn©

There comes a time
in almost every woman's life
whereby she realizes
that she has been defining herself
by the relationships
that she has been involved in.


For the smart ones...it happens early,
and they make adjustments in their thinking patterns
to right this misconception.


The slower ones take their time…
for some it takes the time right up
until they are standing at the pearly gates...
to understand
that they are in fact
more
than the sum total of all those whom they have been
involved with,

those that they have loved

This being said,
I am no exception.
I still do define myself by my relationships.


The good news is that I understand
that I am,
and have made,
a conscious decision to do so,
to be able to handle the time and space continuum in my head....
and by way of explanation
for the journey...


the how...I've ended up

where I am.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Here's a thing...

that occurred to me today

I was sitting at an intersection
in the old womanmobile
on my way to the grocery store
and it's a 5 way intersection
so I'm gonna be there for a while

just as my light turns green
along comes this gaggle of young women
early to middle twenties
nubile
taut
graceful
perky
just enough curves to be interesting
all laughing and full of youth and vigor

and of course...just as I start to pull out
they step out to walk across the intersection
in front of me in the oldwomanmobile

so I tap the horn
and they look at me
startled
deers in the headlights

but once they focus on me
and realize I'm a woman
they smile
secret knowing smiles of youths

and as they get to the other curb
and I get to cross the intersection
I too smile
cos I know

I know that in their youth
they believe
that they will never become me

and I in my age
know
that once upon a time
I was them...
young
nubile
taut
graceful
perky
just enough curves to be interesting
all laughing and full of youth and vigor

I too once had waist long hair
a 26 inch waist
long lithe legs
and a tight ass

but time takes care of that....
and it occurs to me
that there's no stopping it...


but it's ok
because...

I have become
me

Friday, March 17, 2006

Where do you go to my Lovely - Peter Starstedt

You talk like Marlene Dietrich
And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire
Your clothes are all made by Balmain
And there's diamonds and pearls in your hair

You live in a fancy apartment
Of the Boulevard of St. Michel
Where you keep your Rolling Stones records
And a friend of Sacha Distel

You go to the embassy parties
Where you talk in Russian and Greek
And the young men who move in your circle
They hang on every word you speak, yes I do...

But where do you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, yes I do...

I've seen all your qualifications
You got from the Sorbonne
And the painting you stole from Picasso
Your loveliness goes on and on, yes it does

When you go on your summer vacation
You go to Juan-les-Pines
With your carefully designed topless swimsuit
You get an even suntan, on your back and on your legs
When the snow falls you're found in St. Moritz
With the others of the jet-set
And you sip your Napoleon Brandy
But you never get your lips wet

But where do you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
(Won't you) Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, yes I do

You're in-between twenty an thirty -
A very desirable age
Your body's firm and inviting
But you live on a glittering state

Your name is heard in high places
You know the Aga Khan
He sent you a racehorse for Christmas
And you keep it just for fun, for a laugh ahaha

They say that when you get married
It'll be to a millionaire
But they don't realize where you came from
And I wonder if they really care, they give a damn

Where do you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head

I remember the back streets of Naples
Two children begging in rags
Both touched with a burning ambition
To shake off their lowly brown tags, yes they try

So look into my face Marie-Claire
And remember just who you are
Then go and forget me forever
But I know you still bear the scar, deep inside, yes you do

I know where you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
I know the thoughts that surround you
`Cause I can look inside your head

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

March is blowing past me and...

I’m harried
My home stretch is buggin me
The VOD’s health is gonna cost me more than just 1.50/hr
It’s gonna end up costing me my job

I need to ride
The Dr doesn’t think so
But I do

And then there’s the club
Them idjits like to drive me to drink
Who needs the politics?

And politics?
Have you seen where I work?It sure has little er nuttin to do with who you know!!