Mercury is in Retrograde!

My friend Tam reminds me that
mercury is retrograde...

I slap myself on the forehead!
how could I have forgotten?
what was I thinking?

mercury is tryin to kill me!

so much trippy shit has gone on since the 14th
(when the planet slipped into retrograde)
that I'm at a loss as to where to start talking about it....

but here's one thing

last night I got home from work at 6:35pm....
tried my key on the building door and it doesn't work...
try my 2nd key and it don't work....
walk all the way round the building to the lobby
and there's a sign on the front door
stating that the "manager"
(and I use that term loosely)
has changed the outside door locks
and we can pick up our keys
between 4 and 5 pm
and that he's going out of province
for 2 weeks as of tomorrow morning

did I mention it's now like 6:45?

....so I ring the buzzer to his apt...
no answer...
I ring again...
no answer....
now I'm layin on the damn buzzer
beep diddy beep da beep beep beep!
...no answer
...so I walk around the building
to his living room window
and start hammering on it
(guess I'm lucky he don't own a gun -
but shit this is my home!)
...he finally comes to the door...
and lets me in and hands me
one key that is stamped "do not copy"

so I tell him I want a 2nd key...
he tells me I can't have one...
I tell him I've lived in the building 10 years
and I want a 2nd key
...he says "what for?"
I say...
none of your fuckin business
gimme a 2nd key..
he says..."we don't want every Tom Dick and Harry
to have keys to the building"

I say...
then stop renting apartments
to crackheads!
he says he takes exception to that remark
I say - before he was the manager
we never had no Voodoo Gods in the building
threatening to rain down his legion of terror
and cut me into small pieces!
I say before he became the manager
we never had no apartment dwellers
involved in a knife fight in the parking lot
I say before he became the manager
I never had not 1
not 2
not even 3
but 4 fucking showers in my living room
I've lived here for 10 years and never had a problem
and I want a 2nd key...

OMG!
Mercury is just fuckin with me!
but I got my 2nd key!