the bother and the blister

yesterday the VOD
went into the hospital
to have her back glued
(successfully I might add)

I barely knew about it
cos now that the "golden boy"
has become the "saint du jour"
the VOD is only communicating
with me
when she wants a bottle of scotch

so after work I go to the hosp
to see how she is
I get there
and the bother and the nefew
are holding court
the neace is on her way down
as she's flying to Sask
to be scouted
by Uni level coaches
for scholarships...

so it is decided
that the bother, the nefew and myself
will leave the VOD's hospital room
and adjourn to a pub
just around the corner
from my place
for din dins

the bother is worried
about the neace
as it's her first trip
driving herself
down island
and into the "big" city
so all the way thru dinner
he's texting her
(altho her reading said texts
while driving could now cost
this new driver $167 and
3 points - bonehead)

anyway
every time she responds
I have to read the text
to the bother
cos he's too vain to have
brought his reading glasses
into the pub

so he gets a text
he opens the phone
but can't read it
hands it to me
I read a text
only it's from the blister:
"musta been a real treat having
to spend the whole day
at the hospital
with Wyz"

fuck eh?

so now I can't get my head around
how much of this kinda smack talk
has been going on betwixt
the bother and the blister
all the time?
and behind my back
yet again?

does that mean that they really
don't think I'm a nice person?
or a good person?
or have the best of intentions?

and srsly
wtf did I ever do to either of them
that was so life alteringly mean
or cruel or harsh?

every time I think I'm making
headway with the blister
I find out it's all a facade

I'm tired of the people
I love and respect
(altho sometimes I wonder why I do)
treating me like a floor mat

I so don't get people's need
to be mean
does it make them feel better
about themselves
to chuck needless/endless shit
at or about someone else?

why do I give a shit?
why is it
that I can feel good
about myself
and the place I'm in
in my life right now
and one little fuck up
like this
hurts my feelings
enough
to doubt myself
on every level?

what is it about me
that allows those people
and their mean
and minuscule opinions
to continue to matter
to me?

just shut up
and fuck off