seems to me.....later

there's something to be said for
complete physical exhaustion

when I get home from a day of club riding
because I am not in the best of health/shape
I go thru this series of awareness as I warm up
and relax

first it's the relief
over the idea that your fingers
are all still there
and the end of your nose
is not frostbitten
in spite of how freakin cold
you thought is was

then as you warm up
the lethargy seeps in...
slowly
slowly
you settle in

you find it hard to cross you legs
your arm falls off the rest
your eyes flutter lower and lower

and all of a sudden you jolt awake
and discover all them muscles
that you haven't used
since this time last year

do ya suppose if the doctor gave me permission
I'd actually "work out"?

or have I had too many years of waiting
too many years of the dr's saying
maybe next month...
and maybe next season...

till one day ya wake up a fat bald 50 old
with no one to blame but your health

hardly seems fair
do it?

all my life I've heard people say...
"but inside I'm only 21/17/40"

I don't feel like that

I feel like I earned every damn year
and I know I earned every damn lb...

oh well
the eyes are starting to droop again
and I'm likely to heat for the rack
8:30 at night
and I am going to bed

shit...I AM old.