To Move or not to Move

since I started this new job
I have had a running discourse
with myself about whether or not to move
closer to the job
(I've gone from a 3 min drive
to a 20 min drive and with the current
price of gas...that's nothing to laugh at!)

there's the usual ramifications
to be considered
with the concept of moving....

but there's also the effect
or affect
of such a move on the VOD

is she still capable of taking care of herself?
have I in fact become a crutch?
or must she have the little "things"
I do for her on a daily basis?

is it possible for me to have a life
that wouldn't involve being
the beck and call girl
and thereby removing the need
for me to feel resentment
against the bother and blister
for their constant nattering
but no action?

S0...my father was in town
for Easter
and he and I
spent some time
talking about just that....

we discussed buying
vs
renting

he suggests buying a mobile home
not a double wide like lots of my friends
but a single
cos I'm single
what do I need
all that space for anyway?
and not new.....but used

then there's the whole discussion about
what's the chances
that someone with a financial history
like mine (bad choices bad men bad health etc)
and just having changed jobs
will even get a mortgage
let alone a personal loan?

but anyway
we spent some time today
discussing mobile homes
with my cousin the carpenter
and my cousin's father in law
the "know it all"

the end result being that we went out
to look at a couple of "parks"
to see if I could be interested

I found one park that is full of mobiles
from the 70's and 80's
but with lots of refurbishing
and not too expensive

the real draw for me
is the ambiance of this park
it's real "West Coast".....
on a hill.... well established
lots of Arbutus trees and ferns
looks like it's set in a rain forest
allows small pets...

the lots are small
but I don't want to have to deal
with a lawn
I'd like a lawn big enough
to care for with nail scissors
if ya get my drift....

in the end I came home
with a feeling that I may just
seriously think about
this as an option

I arrive home
tired and satiated
full of Easter peace
and family fun (ok - that's an oxymoron!)
to yet another
fucking flood

apparently
something happened to the
twit upstairs
and I'm under water again

if ever there was an argument
for moving out of this god damn building
it would be having to use every damn
towel in the house to get the fucking water
up offa the floor in the bathroom
and know
that because we have scheduled laundry times
I will have to live with a garbage bag
fulla wet towels
till next Sunday
when it's my turn
and the wait for the drywall
to dry
so they can assess the damage yet again
(they still haven't done anything after the last bloody flood)

I sooo want to move
I want a stand alone building
even if it's just a trailer

I want a washer and dryer in it
or the ability to install them

I want a spare room
so my computer can get the hell outta my living room

I want to be able to use my stereo
not to keep my neighbours away
but to listen to music

I want a carport - or the ability to put one up

I want to get on with my life

and I want to do so without feeling guilty
about the VOD

and I may even consider
giving up my holidays to do it.....

so......this is me
putting it out there in the cosmos
Just in case