round and round in circles…

head’s whirring…
who to trust…?
who to believe…?
how much more?
will it ever stop?

here’s another night
of lost sleep
some backstabbing chit
has cost me

what would ever have possessed me
to think that I could lead a normal life?

time and again
I try
and
I fail
and pick myself up
to start over again

and time and time again
I make it so far
and then get cut
off at the knees
for trusting someone
less than trustworthy

for putting my faith
in the unworthy

why is it not more apparent to me
out of the gate?

why can I not see the facts before me?

what is it that makes me think
that this one time
I’ll have placed my trust
correctly?

apparently
I am less sane than I thought

in my struggles
to be true to myself
I seem to have lost the ability
to see people for what they really are

world weary
sad
disappointed
and
disappointing
bereft of truth
and
honour

but who?
them?
or me?

am I more disappointed
in the liar?

or myself for having
yet once again
set myself up for failure?

round and round in circles....