Thursday, January 22, 2009

Here's what I don't get

someone does something to you
that hurts you badly

say it's immoral
or unethical
or say it interferes with your marriage
or your life
or your family

all your friends...close or not
come outta the woodwork
to support you

everyone gives voice to the fact
that you have been hurt
that what this person did
was immoral
or unethical
or interfered with your marriage
your life
your family
or all of the above...

so then how is it that the very same friends
can publicly continue friendships
with the very person
they told you they believed was unethical or immoral?

how has it happened
in our politically correct society
that we have become a race of people
that spend all their time
professing to turn the other cheek?

No one confronts anything head on
nothing is dealt with
every subject is skirted over some
absurd fear of getting or being involved.

is it because they are
afraid of conflict?
afraid to speak
the truth in the face
of the wrongdoer
the transgressor?

Has becoming a society of
politically correct yet oh so polite drones
made us all become two faced
and seemingly unable to separate
the wheat from the chaff?
the good from the bad?
the right from the wrong?

I'm not saying
that everyone should dislike someone
cos I do

I'm saying
if someone whores around with my husband
they have broke a covenant
and for people to continually parade that person under
my nose
is no less hurtful than the person
that did the dirty in the first place

if someone
breaks my heart
intentionally...
be it a friend or lover
if someone goes beyond the bounds of friendship
and harms me or my family
your outwardly and publicly
appearing to be friends with them
(even when you tell me to my face that you ain't)
causes you to lose credibility

should you, as my friend
tell me that you disagree vehemently
with that person's moral standards
(or lack thereof)
how can you expect me
to trust you
or believe you
if you continue to be ok
with that person in public?

I don't for a minute suggest that we should be
tattooing a red letter on the transgressor
or that all people need to not be friendly
with someone that has done me wrong

what I believe is that you should be moral on your own
and say to my face that while what the transgressor has done to me
is wrong in your opinion
you feel that as an unaffected bystander you will remain friends with them

at least that's honest

STOP LYING TO ME COS YOU THINK I NEED TO HEAR IT
and stop trying to fix what you can't
no one can fix it once it's broken
trust is earned...over time
it sure as hell ain't a given.
and don't be surprised
when I tell you that you too have hurt my feelings
cos
hey
I'm human.

Personally, I do think that it's a smack in the face
of the person you are professing to support
when you publicly associate with
the very cause of all my distress....

Seriously, I think I'm returning to the old ways
I think I'm believing in an eye for an eye
more and more all the time....

and one more thing....
if you think for a second
that you are so special
or such a good person
or such a good friend
that said transgressor will never
treat you immorally, unethically
or say interfer with your marriage
your life
your family

you are mistaken
because
truly
to
them...
you are a pushover!
We all are.

I'm tired of being nice
I'm tired of being polite
and I'm tired of being fair

I'm tired of trying to work things out
for the benefit of the all

Fuck the "All"
time to take care of me.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Karen,
I am so very sorry and feel so very sad that you have to make a decision like this one. It's hard enough to live with certain situations let alone having to swallow it, then to have it thrown back into your face.
I'm not sure of the situation you are talking about but sometimes, yes, somtimes, IT IS time for us to look after ourselves for a bit - to lick our own wounds - then come back out swinging again. Sometimes people wade into the middle of what they don't know just for the sake of being 'involved' because that is the only time they truly feel alive. Be at peace with yourself in the knowledge that, while others are two faced and false, at least you know your own self and make it known to those who are involved what your true feelings are.
I hope you find peace (if not on the whole at least with yourself) over this situation.
Travel Safe. Ride Well. Let the wind carry your cares to the place that freezes them to dust and blows them away forever.

LD

Unknown said...

My dear friend Karen (and you are my dear, dear friend)I respect you and love you like a sister. What you have gone through no one should go through. I went through some pretty dark times a couple of years ago to the point that I was going to end it all. I thought I didn't have any reason to live anymore. With great patience this person helped me see the light (pills helped to) and so I hold this person close to me. Not saying that I trust this person at all. My guard is always up. But with you it is different. I trust you with my life. I can talk to you openly and you always make me feel that you understand. I don't feel I have to be on guard with you and if I was to lose you and your friendship I know there would be a big black space in my heart. I want you to take good care of yourself, it's about time. I have lost so many people in my life these past few years I don't want to lose you too.

I like spending time with you and have you stay over so I can treat you like the special person you are.

Suzie-Q

Unknown said...

My dear Wyz,
I feel awful for you. What you said is right. I feel awful, if I understood things correctly, I owe you an apology, one cannot justify things just for business. I hope to improve, because I feel disgust at what happened, and I know that such a thing could happen to me because of that person. I know they could do the same to everyone. I hope to improve, because I have a terrible feeling in my stomach when dealing with this person in business dealings. Take care of yourself.

Larissa said...

A great way to lay all of it out on the table... and I agree with it all.

I hope that this situation all falls into place for you, while you take the needed and deserved time to attend to yourself. =)