the Grace and the Glory...

as a child
there is a certain
kind of grace and glory
that comes from being raised
in a huge extended family

with a large family
there's always someone
to play with

with a large family
there's always someone else
in trouble for it
cos there's always someone else
to blame for it

with a large family
there’s always something
to be learned

with a large family
there's always someone
to listen

with a large family
there's always someone
to love

and mostly with a large family
there's always someone
to love you

as an adult
this business of
being from a large family
gets harder and harder.

I ache for my cousin and his family
if I feel this bad
how must they feel?
how must the grandmother
and current reigning matriarch
of this big family feel?
his partner? his brother?

I wonder
does the next generation
know what grace and glory there is
in having more cousins
than you know what to do with?

does the next generation understand
the network
of love and trust and respect
that has allowed me to
make the mistakes I made?
to learn the lessons I needed?
to love and support me
even when they didn't?
to give me the tools
and the understandings I needed
to be me?

the me that everyone else knows...
the me that is still a work in progress?

I wonder
if they are connected
like we were?

seems hard to imagine they may be
with us all over the country
the way we are....
and somehow
connecting on FB
or via the internet
is good
but not good enough...

because if they are not...

how will they ever
build the connections
the visceral
tangible
connections
that we did
as children
that keep me connected
all these miles away?

how can they ever really understand
the grace and the glory that comes
from being raised
in a family this large?