Bless us every one!

so
the holiday season
in a nutshell......

we went up to my bother's house
to visit with him and the kids
as usual
the bother and the VOD
drank their way thru the festive season

the bother has a new lady friend
he's besotted (thinkin with the little head)
but he won't tell his kids
so they are texting each other on an average of 40 msgs an hour
what makes them think the kids don't know?

and what a lovely way to spend Christmas dinner
after cooking all day long
sitting at a table with the VOD and her tumbler of BINGO!
and the top of the bother's head cos he's looking at his phone
alla time

the good news is that the farther was in too much pain
to be much of a pain
he's got a major sciatica thing going on
so he can't drink much
they have him on muscle relaxants and painkillers
so he's hammered anyway
but pleasantly hammered!

so there were no major fights in my festive season this year
quelle suprise?

the high point of Christmas day was the Bother and the VOD
giving me a card with a picture of a Zen Creative Vision M
30 gb mp3 player that they were gonna purchase at the boxing day sale
(cos it was 70.00 off)
so we got it on boxing day
and I'm stoked cos the nephew has one
and it holds like mega music n vids n pix n stuff
but I decide to wait till I get home to fire it up

the last night in camp the VOD got tiddly again
and she went to bed at the same time as the bother did
(cos he had to work in the morning)
and he comes out about half an hour later and says:
"do you suppose that it's significant that the VOD is laying in bed
singing Amazing Grace to herself?"

what a laugh!

the drive home was relatively uneventful
and as soon as we got home
I plugged in the Vision M to charge the battery

it don't work

so I spent about 9 hours yesterday fiddling with it
and finally discover that
according to some Zen Creative forums
there's a problem between the Vision M and some versions of XP
WHY DO YA SUPPOSE THEY DON'T TELL YA THAT WHEN YOU BUY THEM???
ok
I feel better now :0)

so this morning
I go out for coffee with my club
and then head over to the electronics store to exchange it
(just on the off chance that it was that particular player)
whereby I come across the most
derisive young woman
I have ever had the displeasure of speaking to
in the "electronics store" Customer Service Dept.
our little tete e tete resulted in my finally requesting my money back
and that she take a long look at her career path going forward....
if ya get my drift?

WW: I'd like to exchange this mp3 player
Her: uhhhmmm why?
WW: it won't connect with my computer
Her: uhhhmmm why?
WW: seems that the usb cord doesn't connect with my usb ports but everything else I plug into them works fine
Her: well I didn't ask for your life story
WW: seeing as you haven't offered...do you have anymore so that I could get an exchange?
Her: (looking around to see if anyone can hear her besides me) nope
WW: can ya look?
Her: don't have to - I know that we ain't got none
WW: may I have my money back please
Her: well uhhhhhmmm ok....but I don't know how to do that?
WW: can I speak to the manager please?
Her: No - you don't need to
WW: (getting louder) I didn't ask if you I needed to I said I wanted to
Her: Well there's no need to get snippy!
WW: (deep breaths)Get me the manager now!
Him: what can I do for you today?
WW: without a long drawn out explanation - I want my money back because you don't have any more Vision M's to exchange with
Him: then why did you want to see me?
WW: because I wasn't getting any customer service from your customer service rep
Him: ya well Tuesday is her last day so she's not so invested
WW: ya well neither am I - GIVE ME MY MONEY
Him: well ya don't have to get snippy!

I get my money - and enough paperwork to paper the bathroom walls and just for shits n giggles I go over to the audio dept to see what the price is of a different model same size - and low and behold there 9 of the damn things in the display case
Fuck Me!

I drove down the road to another electronic shop and got one there!
so wish me luck!

Merry Christmas

ok
I'm bracing myself
I leave this morning to drive up to my brother's house
he (aka "the golden boy") has to work boxing day
so that means that the VOD needs to be there
cos ever the martyr
she will need to be there
"just in case he needs something"

he's affected
he calls his kids "the children"
and while he has a good heart
he's like the rest of the family
suffering from the "road to hell is paved with good intentions"

the VOD is also in a flap
cos the blister (my virtually non-existant sister)
is alone this season
but she's alone cos she wants to be
after all - there's almost 100 members of our family
in that city she lives it
altho there is every possiblity that they've quit inviting her
cos she's following in her mother's footsteps
ever the martyr

and I will be
reading library books
and playing monopoly with the kids (16 & 14)
and hoping that I don't have to spend too much time
with the drunks
er
I mean family

jaded?
who me?

still
beyond all that

I pray for Peace
and Health
and Comfort and Joy
in the lives of my loved ones

May this season bring you everything you want
Bright Blessings all!

Life goes on....

yesterday turned out to be an aboslutely
abysmal day for me

it was "bring your dog to work day"
I suffered a complete emotional meltdown
in front of a whole bunch of complete strangers

nothin like a little weeping to humble you in front of strangers


but as life will do
I got home a wallowed for a while
I even spent some time surfing looking for dogs in my area to adopt
but I stopped myself because even when I'm upset I understand that it's too soon

and then I watched a movie called Hustle and Flow
(I'm about 2 years behind everyone else in the movie watching arena)

the thing about this movie is that it's about hope
and dreams
and I got both messages

I'm left with a feeling of renewal
and a need to apologize to the VOD
for being such an absolute PITA last night

this morning one of my pagan friends sent me a link to BlueBeat
it's a streaming audio site
I'm liking it (you know me and my music schtick!)
too bad there wasn't a way to link music here without having to learn to code!

anyway
life goes on....

Seasonal Sometimes....

I'm seasonally challenged

I'm having a hard time digging up
the old Christmas spirit
sometimes

then I spend some time
with one of my friends
who's children are truly stoked
about Christmas

and it all comes rushing back
the excitement
the glee
the tastes
the smell
it all comes rushing back!

I am the Moon

You are The Moon
Hope, expectation, Bright promises.
The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?

Take the Test to Find Out.

Again with the new job doesn't suck!

ok
my first day of work at the new job was Nov 13th
the legal day off for Remembrance Day
so my first day of work was a day off with pay

2 weeks ago we had a huge snow storm
and I had 2.5 days offwith pay due to the weather
cos the road into the job was closed

so last week we had a cocktail party
on Thursday
which meant I was off at 2:30 to go
and Thursday night there was a massive wind storm
that beat the shit out of coastal BC
and as a result we had no power at work on Friday
and I got the day off with pay

yesterday I get up bright and early
and head to work
to find out that we still don't have any power
so I was home by 10:00
with pay

I'm also off from the 23rd to the 2nd
so again
the new job doesn't suck!

Can I just say?

cooking without a dog in your home
is a whole different experience

now when I drop something
I have to sweep and wash the floor

gak!

Seasonal Wishes

From a Friend

"Awww, Wyz, So sorry.

This struck a nerve. We call our Yorkie Little Man.

We have many hounds for many purposes, but Little Man serves as a companion, and jester. Difficult to imagine life without the little turd.

I feel your pain.

Cherish your memories, and plant a tree in the little guys honor.

Loss of a companion of that order is devastating. Mutts are what makes life grand.
Much of the human attributes that we admire, come built in to dogs naturally. Loyalty, Courage, Strength, Forgiveness, Humor, and Selflessness come instinctively to mutts.

They just live in the moment, as though there were no tomorrow. Every one of them is like a comet. You can enjoy them for a brief moment, but you know you cant hold them.

When they pass, the sorrow that you feel is crushing. We have a German Shepherd that is 10 years old now. We know her time is short, and when she goes, there will be a big hole in our hearts-not to mention our red-neck security grid.

Damn! Sniff! God Bless all Muttz!"

~SloRide~

Life Wisdome...

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life..."it goes on".

~Robert Frost~

Alone

I have never before
been quite this alone

there is a texture to this quiet
that I am unfamiliar with

the smell and feel
of my home
has changed

it's not necessarily bad
it's just

alone

today I lost my best friend...

today I lost my best friend...

the little man that has been with me
through thick and thin
for 17 years

he was my confidant
and my pleasure

while I feel a need to tell people
I don't have words or patience for sorrow

I am bereft

I want for everyone
to be healthy and wealthy and wise

I want people to stop the childish bickering

I want food on everyone's table
and I want world peace dammit

but mostly
I want that little brown bundle of joy back

Half a Cup o Cocoa
1989 - 2006
R.I.P.

"little man"

Mixed Emotions

I had a "reunion" of my team from my old job last night
it left me feeling happy and sad

it made me so happy to see so many of those people again
but it made me sad to realize how very much I miss them
and that while my new job is wonderful for my future
it's my past job that brought me strength, and laughter and friends

I got home to be reminded
that my 17 year old dog is dying
he's beyond sick
he doesn't smell good
and today he can hardly move
and he has an appt at the vet on Sunday
that likely will mean that I have to put him down
and that breaks my heart
because at the risk of sounding like a complete failure life wise
he is my longest standing relationship...

I woke up this morning feeling lost
then I get an email from my eldest cousin
who is kinda a recluse
talking about a recent spate of family reminiscence
about my deceased grandfather....

he says: "By my Father’s lights and most other Family with whomI have discussed it, HWB was a supreme asshole, a wife beater and a child molester. Why is it that everyone is revering him on this Remembrance Day? Inquiring minds, etc:"

I sat and thought about it for a bit and this was my reply:

"I think it’s got something to do with their age Cousin...I think that all of them have come to points in their life when they’ve either come to terms with their anger/hatred with him – or are simply too tired to fight about him anymore …or like my dad – they’ve dealt with it via their faith – I’m not saying its right or wrong...It’s just that their humanity requires that they come to some sort of “understanding” about their feelings over him.....cos at the end of the day – he was their father – and they see themselves in him and the only way that they can deal with that is to forgive him…forgive but not forget"

sometimes this business of living life
ain't what it's cracked up to be.
we get up every morning
and we force ourselves thru the things that make up our days
we pretend that we're normal
and we examine why we are happy or sad

but in the end
there is only the end

so is in not our responsibility
to feel
to feel as much
about as much
as we can?

is it not our responsibility
to try to understand
to understand as much
about as much
as we can?

is it not our responsibility
to love
to love as many
as long
as we can?

Devil Ducks Rock!

Nuff said?

Christmas With Sheldon....

I wrote this story several years ago....but I find it bears repeating:


For years and years I too hated Christmas…too much brouhaha in my books…then I had a Christmas epiphany…no small feat for a non-Christian…but here goes

I always put huge store in Christmas…because I was raised in a huge family and I had believed all my life that "family" is what Christmas was about…My Father’s birthday is the twenty-third and my uncle’s is the twenty-fifth and as a child we always did the big Christmas/birthday celebration…but as time goes on things change and you discover that "family" are people too…and they have foibles…they mess up…and things never quite live up to your expectations.

In the early ‘90’s my Mother moved to BC leaving me to live in the old family home in Thunder Bay. My brother was newly married to woman that put the "C" in control. (and another word that I won’t use here!) She didn’t like cooking when I was around and for many years I thought it was cos she was intimidated by the fact that I have my chef’s papers…turns out she’s just lazy, opinionated and lazy…but that’s another story.

So Mom moves to BC, Dad and my sister are in Toronto and I am faced with the prospect of cooking the whole Christmas shebang at my brother and sister-in-law’s house. My sister-in-law has invited her whole family so I am cooking a 27lb turkey and all the trimmings. Two kinds of stuffing (one for each end) 3 kinds of salad and 4 vegetables, mashed spuds, gravy, pickles etc etc and top it all off with Figgie Pudding…(I’m from a go big er go home kinda family)

Five days before Christmas my sister-in-law calls me and informs me that I am "allowed" to come to her house for an hour between 6 and 7 AM to stuff the bird and put it in the oven…but then I need to leave for the day so she can have some "quality" time with her family.

Can you guess where I told her to put her bird? ~ahem~

So the Christmas dawns and I am alone. I am not answering the phone…and I am depressed….as my Grampy used to say, "I am lower than whale shit and that is on the bottom of the ocean! We are having a good old North Western Ontario blizzard and as I listen to the radio I am overcome both with the concept that I can’t get away from Christmas (it’s just freakin everywhere) and that I am alone. So I jump in my truck and head out to the local truck stop for breakfast. Somewhere where there’s people and noise.

On my way to the truck stop I drive past the Greyhound Bus Depot and while it is closed I spot and elderly man in a summer weight suit huddled in the doorway.

I drive by…then go around the block and drive by again. Something about this situation tweaks my conscience and I cannot get the picture of this man out of my head.

On my third pass I pull into the parking lot and lean out my window. "Are you ok?" I ask. This tiny elderly fellow looks up at me and with tears running down his face says, "I’ll do."

"Well no…he won’t do." I think as I watch him shiver and shudder. So I offer to let him in my truck. I’m thinking that if it turns out he’s got a gun…I certainly won’t feel any worse off than I already do this Christmas.

At first he refuses. But then with some cajoling and conversation he eventually climbs in and I take him to the truck stop to warm him up and maybe get him some food. He refuses to eat but allows as I could buy him a "cup of cocoa".

As he thaws out he tells me his story. He tells me his name is Sheldon Shepherd. He left Vancouver 3 days ago on his way to London ON to spend Christmas with his family. He was traveling by Greyhound. In the bathroom in the Thunder Bay bus terminal he is mugged…robbed…and knocked out. Because he is old school and won’t ask for help when he comes to… he doesn’t tell anyone, his grandkid’s Christmas presents are gone, as is his coat and wallet. He finds himself outside of the depot, the depot closed, in a blizzard with a lump on his head the size of Santa. Areas of his story seem lacking to me…but he’s got this lump and no coat and no money…so…

I am filled with righteous indignation and I insist that he allow me to call the police. They come and after all is said and done I find out that they can get him another bus ticket to London but they have to find a judge to authorize the funds and besides there is no bus running thru till the twenty-sixth. One of the police officers suggests that this sad soul go to the local homeless shelter. I’ve never been there but I know where it is so I agree to drive him there.

Sheldon is quiet on his way to the shelter. He confides in me as we are pulling into the parking lot that he’s never had to accept charity before and not comfortable with it now. I fully understand. I have never been able to look a homeless person in the eye. I have always been consumed with guilt and the thought that there but for the grace of all the gods go I.

In we go. My first impression was that we were entering a jail. We walked in thru the front door to be confronted with locked double doors and a "security guard". Sheldon is pulling back so I tell the guard his story and the guard opens the locked doors to allow us into the shelter telling us to "find Rick".

As we enter I am assaulted by a cacophony of sounds and smells….lots of them not pleasant. There is a riot of color and furniture and bodies everywhere…there are people sleeping standing up against walls and on the stairs and tired used old blankets clutched in dirty little children’s fingers.

Slowly as I become accustomed to the "ambiance" I begin to see Christmas in this room. There are bits of tinsel hanging from dirty stocking caps set jauntily over dirty faces. There’s what can only be called a Charlie Brown Christmas tree in the corner and there are new socks and new gloves on many hands and feet…and lots of the people that are awake are smiling. I don’t understand.

Across the room is the big serving window to the kitchen but I see no one on the other side…as I start across the room I hear the unmistakable sound of dishes smashing to the floor and a resounding "Damn it!" from behind the wall. I peek around a see a harried fellow, in half a Santa suit picking up broken dishes and muttering.

"Rick?" I ask. This frantic man turns to me and blesses me with the biggest gap tooth smile and says…"yup…hiya! What can I do for you?"

I explain Sheldon’s story and Rick tells me no problem he can stay here over night. He then turns to Sheldon and says,"I don’t suppose you can cook?"

"Why?" says Sheldon and I at once. Turns out that the volunteer church group that was to cook the shelter’s Christmas dinner won’t be coming because of the storm. Rick says that Christmas is always a banner time for the shelter food wise…"people assuage their guilt by giving at Christmas". The end result is that he has tons of food and no cooks.

"Hmmmmmm," says I, "maybe I can help"

Long story short…we have Christmas dinner for close to 200. Sheldon isn’t a cook but he’s a mean dishwasher and clean up kinda guy…and we recruit a couple of people from the shelter and we are off… We have beef and turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing made in pans instead of in the bird and spaghetti with sauce and chocolate pudding.

We have Christmas Carols and laughter and hugs and tears and handclasps from dirty little fingers. By 10 PM I am completely and totally physically exhausted, sweaty and hot, hot, hot… but as I turn to survey the room I have an epiphany.

Christmas is not about receiving the love from my family that I believe is my due. It truly is about the giving. In any way shape or form.

Sheldon passed away in 1996 but I still hear from his daughter Janice…once a year at Christmas. And that’s the best that I can do.

Peacock Poop

today I received
in my email
at work...

a reminder
from the University
that it is not
in our best interests
health wise
to not wear shoes
while on the property
or working
in any of the buildings
that house the Uni

cos of the
Peacock Poop

the Uni
is the home of some
fantastic
world class
gardens
and 16 peacocks

and the peacocks
range free on all of the
595 acres of Uni property

which means that
even when we are indoors
we have tracked
literally tons
of peacock poop
onto the carpets

ok?
Can I just say?
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

And so....

the Season begins....

from my new job...

Season’s Greetings

From the "It never rains but it pours" file....

I'm still up to my ass in snow - and the building manager has been conspicuous in his absence - so no news on the flooding front....

the knee I fell on his healing but I've done something to my left achilles tendon again

the car that I took in for an oil change last Saturday has to go back in today cos the "service soon" light on the dash won't go out since they had it

the MackDaddy Dell that I bought in August may have to go back to Dell cos both DVD drives won't work - all of a sudden- they'll not play video at the moment - I was on the phone with Dell Tech till midnight last night - and I ain't happy

annnnnnnnnd - the VOD seems to be sick - she upchucked all day yesterday which is some kinda world record cos she'd rather you cut out her tongue and both legs than throw up - so I know she ain't right

Fuck eh?
I need a holiday!

Coming Home...

Well I’ve been down to Georgia

I’ve seen the streets in the west

I’ve driven down the 90,

hell I’ve seen America’s best

I’ve been through the Rockies,

I’ve seen Saskatoon

I’ve driven down the highway 1,
I just hope that I’d see you soon

Cause I’m coming home,
I’m coming home

I’ve never been to Alaska,
but I can tell you this

I’ve been to Lincoln, Nebraska
and hell you know it aint worth shit

I’ve been through Nova Scotia,
Sydney to Halifax

I’ll never take any pictures
cause I know I’ll just be right back

Cause I’m coming home,
I’m coming home

I’ve seen palaces in London;
I’ve seen a castle in Wales

But I’d rather wake up beside you
and breathe that ol ’familiar smell

I never thought you could leave me,
I figured I was the one

But I understand your sadness,
so I guess I should just hold my tongue

But I’m coming home,

I’m coming home

I know we’re takin’ chances,
you told me life was a risk

But I have just one last question…

Will it be my heart

or will it be his?

Coming home ,
I’m coming home

~City and Colour!