of wedge asses "and such"

so the nefew is back in the city
going to year 2 of uni

he made a pretty adult decision
to room and board in a family home
in the city...
all of the family are somehow into music
and they are close to the uni so he can ride his bike
and all of this is covered by student loans
and then he'll work to supplement

really nice in theory
but sometime the best laid plans
don't work out
and it ain't assisted by the fact
that
they are just plain weird people

the kid's student loan didn't come in on time
so here we are the 8th
and he's not been able to pay his rent

had he told me
I'd have fronted him the money on the first
but he didn't get up the gumption
to mention it to me till today
and to add insult to injury
the kid has the flu
bad.

so after dinner
I jump in the car
and drive into the city
to write the kid a cheque

I get there
I write the cheque
we have an "aunty kranky" talk
about this being the real deal and
this is a loan...just like an adult
yadda yadda yadda
he thanks me profusely
and promises to pay me back
once we get to his Dad's on Sunday for Thanksgiving
I get back in the car
and head home

10 min from my door my phone rings
it's the kid
apparently the landlord
doesn't like the way I wrote the date
on the cheque

I wrote Oct/8/9
he wants DD/MM/YYYY
and won't accept the cheque as payment
if it's not written that way

the poor kid is really embarrassed
and I turn around
and drive back into town

I get there
he meets me outside
and hands me the cheque
I rewrite it
with the date DD/MM/YYYY
and he takes it in the house for approval

this time I've learned my lesson

the poor kid comes out and looks like he's gonna cry
this wedge ass won't accept the cheque
cos I do xx/xx instead of change
he wants it to say $.00

see now
this is where being 54 would come in handy
cos if it were up to me
I'd tell that flake
to take a long hard suck on my d.....
well...
you get the picture

but the poor kid
looked like he wanted to cry
I just re-wrote the cheque
and took it in to the wedge ass myself
had said wedge ass even peeped at me
there likely would have been an altercation
but he choose to accept the cheque
so I was then stuck having the obligatory
inane conversation
about the weather etc
with a stranger.

a stranger
who uses "and such"
tacked on to the end of each sentence
like punctuation

"nice day if it don't rain and such"
yes it is
"sorry to have made you drive all this way and such"
it's ok
"well the kid's turned out to be a great boarder and such"
I'm sure he is
"it's just that his car takes up so much room and such"
well it's a big car
"too bad he didn't have a smaller car and such"
you know he's a student right? it's not like he bought it
"well...nice meeting you and such"
buh bye...

Let me outta here you wedge ass
and such.