I am

I am a garlic mashed potatoe ho
what's a fat broad to do?

on another front
one of the guys in my riding club
posts an extremely tasteless joke on our forum
about the sexual predilections of a fellow member
a member with whom he is very close friends

our provincial officer calls me several times to "strongly" suggests
that it be removed
my first officer thinks that while it's in poor taste
he abhors censorship so we won't
the provincial officer says that as we are not a private forum
this joke will give people the impression that we aren't nice
I says...but it's ok with you guys to post racist joke
or sexist jokes
or jokes about religions
or jokes about mental capacity

so while I find the joke to be ugly
I'm leaving the damn thing alone in the spirit of non censorship

but it's buggin the hell outta me!

so I go to bed feeling rather disgruntled
I shut everything off and is my won't I walk thru completely darkness to my room
thinking that those 'blackout ' drapes where a good investment

and go out like a light (cos I'm medicated to do so)
I wake up at 12:28 to broad daylight in my living room
and an absolute "feeling" like there is someone in my home
I grab for the phone - and then make myself lay there for a minute
before calling 911

my apartment is small enough that even if someone were here
I'd be able to hear them breathe

finally I get up and come into the living room
snapping the rest of the lights on as I go
and there's no one there
but my brightest living room lamp
the one with the extra bright light bulb for reading
is on

I have no idea how that happened
but there was no one there
I turned the light out
went back to bed
and for the rest of the night deampt
of kidnapped babies

wonder what caused alla that?