Chapter 32

the sound: Darren Hayes – Insatiable, Neneh Cherry,Youssou N'Dour-7 Seconds, Gary Jules – Mad World, James Blunt – Cry, Imogene Heap - Hide and Seek, Mazzy Star – Into Dust, City and Colour – Coming Home, Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah
Robert comes wordlessly back to his chair and settles in. I peek at him through my eyelashes and catch him looking at me from the corner of his eye he face almost devoid of expression. Visions of white slavery and rape race through my mind and I begin to feel even more panicked.

I hear a noise and look up to see Boomer heading back to the barn with the ammunitions belts, torches and guns in his arms. He disappears inside and the music begins again. I look up to realize that Robert is once again standing and is quietly talking to Rosie.
He turns and walks away as Rosie beckons me to come with her head. I hesitate watching Robert walk towards the barn and she gestures again. I get up and she leads me back to the house.

Rosie’s hands are covered in blood and she stops at a tap on the way to the house and once again I am full of questions.

“what the fuck was that?” I demand through teeth clenched again.

“it is what it is Baby, you get used to it or you go away” she sighs and shakes her head.

“get used to it?
Get fucking used to it?
Are you insane?” I begin to shout…

Rosie grabs my face and pulls me close to hers…”shut your mouth little girl…you are gonna get yerself in a world of hurt if you don’t just shut the fuck up and watch – pay attention dammit!”

She pushes me towards the house and I stumble ahead of her. Once inside she takes me back to the bedroom and tells me that I need to “relax” and she’ll she me tomorrow. She closes the door as she leaves and I hear the unmistakable sound of it locking.

I realize again that I am shaking like a leaf. I stand for a minute with my forehead against the door and then slowly turn around reaching into my pocket for a cigarette.

As I light up I look about taking in the room. I see that in my absence someone has made the bed, someone has also turned it down for the night and laid a nightdress out for me. I almost smile as I realize that the nightdress is just my style…flannel and long, and then it occurs to me that these people know way too much about me.

I peer about as if there is someone there, but there is not. I close my eyes and relive the scene I’ve just witnessed outside.

I decide that the only answer is to make the best of where I am, so I head for the bathroom to finish my smoke and run a bubble bath.