once more into the fray

so
this morning I get up
early
cos I have to head into the city
to try to find some eyeglass frames
remember my post earlier about the
rectangular frames?
I'm on a quest.....

when I first wake up
it's like 7:30 and I wake up
with this eye dryness thing
that I have
in full swing
so
I put the eyeball goup (technical term)
in both eyes and settle down
to wait the 20 er so minutes it takes
laying there with my eyes closed
to alleviate the eye dryness thing

I woke up at 9
but hey
the eyes are better

so I climb into the car and head downtown
I hate shopping in the city

it's not that they don't have
a plethora of wonderful shops
and big stores
that have every little thing
one might want to purchase
whilst in the big city

no
my issue is parking

I'm not legally disabled
but I do suffer from a fair amount of
arthritic pain
in various joints etc
which makes me reluctant to park in a parkade
cos they are never near enough to the stores I need to go to

I am headed to 3 different eyeglass shops
that are house over a 6 city block radius

I get to the first one at 10
and it's closed till 11
great...
I just stuck two dollars in the meter
for 25 min parking
and now I'm gonna have to leave and come back

kitty corner to where I'm parked
is a well know coffee shop
so I walk across 2 portions of the intersection
and order myself a small coffee

just a coffee
not one o them
chai grande half caf low fat sweet no froth
thingamadoies
just a fuckin coffee

there's no one else in the shop
and it still takes this pinhead behind the counter
10 min to come up with one single
cup of coffee
and then when he does give it to me
it's the wrong size
so he wants me to pay more

ah no
just gimme the size I ordered
and don't take all day...

I end up with small coffee that was heated by
nuclear reactor in the basement
(and with my kinda luck
he spat in!)

I walk back to the car
pull out and drive the 6 blocks to the other shop
recommended to me by several colleagues
put another two dollars in the meter
and go in the shop

ya
nuttin but rectangles

so I get back in the car
and drive the 4 blocks to the 3rd shop
put another two dollars in the meter

ya
nuttin but rectangles

so I get back in the car
and drive the 3blocks to the 1st shop
it's 10:55
I've been in 2 shops and a dysfunctional coffee shop
but at least the coffee is cool enough to sip now

there isn't another car on the street
and I'm sitting in a parking spot
in the middle of the block
in front of the eyeglass shop
with the car running
I have just put the car in park
I pick up my coffee cup and get it half way to my face
when there's a knock at my window
startled
I whip about
lips still pursed
about to sip
and there's a parkin meter guy
standing at the car window

I open the door
cos the car window's in the VOD mobile
don't go down anymore
and this man
dressed like a canary
says
"ya gotta pay to park"
I say
"Ya...I'm just parking"
he says
"no..ya gotta pay to park ya can't just sit here"
I say
"I have every intention of paying
as soon as I get out of the car"
he says
"ya have to pay....ya can't just sit here"

"WHAT?
AM I SPEAKING A FOREIGN FUCKING LANGUAGE?
I.will.pay
as.soon.as.I.turn.my.car.off.and.get.out!"

all of this takes place with the door open
and my cup half way to my lips
as I turn to put the yet untasted coffee down
and reach towards the ignition to turn off the car
the idiot bangs on my window
with his trusty foot long flashlight

this time my head whips around
bearing a slight resemblance to Linda Blair in the Exorcist...
I swing open the door and he has to jump back into the street
lucky for him there's no traffic

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"
I roar at him
"you gotta pay" he hollers back with suicidal deliberation

"you need to take your fucking medication"
I says to him...
I shut the car off
I get out
slam the door
walk to the meter
and guess what...
this time I have to pay 2 dollars yet again!

he stomps off down the street
like some vindicated nazi
and I go into the last eyeglass shop
to find

you guessed it
rectangular frames!

but here's the thing
this city spends a great deal of time and money
be-moaning how no one shops downtown...

they have committees and boards
and research grants
and meetings
they wax forth ad infinitum
about how it's all because of the homeless population
they spend weeks and months and years vilifying the homeless
they are all junkies and thieves and crack ho's and nutcases....
they do little or nothing to rectify their lives
or health....

the local politicians
they talk and talk and talk...
but what I get
is that over the course of an hour
I paid $8.00 for parking spots that I didn't actually get to use
for more than 10 min total
and got I got full on abused and harassed
by some son of a bitch parking nazi
dressed like a fucking canary

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd
just to add insult to injury...
my gawd damn coffee was cold!