I used to think....

that I'd rather be wealthy n stuff
but maybe I'm coming to understand
that being happy with myself
is more important

last night I got together
with several members of the Devil Ducks

remember them?
my old team from the call center?

Tami, Josh, Vicki, Liz, Carol, James and I
went to 5th street bar and grill
John and a friend of his turned up for a while
we ate
laughed
ate some more
laughed some more

and then split up
to head back to our own lives

it's amazing to me yet again
how much I miss those friendships
how much we have in common
even though I no longer work there

so this morning, the first day of the long weekend
I started off by going out for breaky
and then headed over to the call center to say hi
to those left behind

I saw my old boss Chris...who is up to his proverbial ass in alligators
as his lady is very ill and while he doesn't agree with her treatment choices
he's man enough to support her
~guess you'd call that love~
and I realized that even tho he and I didn't agree much
I still respect his work ethic and him as a human being

I saw Jan
who is still desperate to get out
but has no recourse other than to keep trying
to do so the way I did (as in get another job first)

I saw Lisa, who'll likely be there till the damn place closes
(I've never once heard her voice dissatisfaction about the place)

I saw Kefs who told me he's getting ill again
(that's sooo fucking unfair)
and I'll have to remember to go back and see him again
cos we didn't get much time to catch up

anyway.... it all got me to thinking
(oh oh!)
you know how some times a thought strikes you
and kinda blows you outta the water?

while standing in the lobby of that so call "secure" building
I was struck by the thought that every single job I've left
since I started working at 14
I could still walk back in
and visit people
even the one's that
I've been fired from
but not this one

it's like a jail
when yer in
ya can't get out
and when yer out
ya can't even stop by for a coffee

it was good to see people
(I even saw Sharine at Town n Country)
but it also truly solidified for me
that the job I currently have
while having some moments of
~agitation~
doesn't suck

and that maybe I need to work harder
at reminding myself
that my cup is now half full.

there was lots about that job
at the call center
that I flat out hated
but without it
and the medical benefits
that came with it
I would not now be as healthy as I am
without the drug plan
I would not be able to
live the life I'm living now
and I sure as hell wouldn't
have been healthy enough
to get the job I have now
without that particular job
I wouldn't be damn near "cured"

and I learned lots there...
I learned things about myself
that I'd not realized before
I learned how dogged I am when I believe in something
I learned that the absolute best way to deal with stress is to laugh
and that laughing at myself and bringing others along with me
was the best stress relief of all

I learned how to work under the most dire of circumstances
and I learned that people coming together
from all over the world and all walks of life
have commonality

I learned that if ya just make things crystal clear
everybody/anybody can do it

I learned that it doesn't matter what your "station" is in life…
that it doesn't matter how healthy you are or aren't…
it doesn't matter how you dress…
or what you eat…
or what your education is…

I learned that will life control us
if we let it

and the only way to
to take control back
is to grab onto the reigns
and hang on for dear life

and mostly
I learned
I'd rather be
happy and healthy
than wealthy and stuff

and after all that
deep and esoteric thought
I also realized
that having a couple o bucks
doesn't suck either!