Bless us every one!

so
the holiday season
in a nutshell......

we went up to my bother's house
to visit with him and the kids
as usual
the bother and the VOD
drank their way thru the festive season

the bother has a new lady friend
he's besotted (thinkin with the little head)
but he won't tell his kids
so they are texting each other on an average of 40 msgs an hour
what makes them think the kids don't know?

and what a lovely way to spend Christmas dinner
after cooking all day long
sitting at a table with the VOD and her tumbler of BINGO!
and the top of the bother's head cos he's looking at his phone
alla time

the good news is that the farther was in too much pain
to be much of a pain
he's got a major sciatica thing going on
so he can't drink much
they have him on muscle relaxants and painkillers
so he's hammered anyway
but pleasantly hammered!

so there were no major fights in my festive season this year
quelle suprise?

the high point of Christmas day was the Bother and the VOD
giving me a card with a picture of a Zen Creative Vision M
30 gb mp3 player that they were gonna purchase at the boxing day sale
(cos it was 70.00 off)
so we got it on boxing day
and I'm stoked cos the nephew has one
and it holds like mega music n vids n pix n stuff
but I decide to wait till I get home to fire it up

the last night in camp the VOD got tiddly again
and she went to bed at the same time as the bother did
(cos he had to work in the morning)
and he comes out about half an hour later and says:
"do you suppose that it's significant that the VOD is laying in bed
singing Amazing Grace to herself?"

what a laugh!

the drive home was relatively uneventful
and as soon as we got home
I plugged in the Vision M to charge the battery

it don't work

so I spent about 9 hours yesterday fiddling with it
and finally discover that
according to some Zen Creative forums
there's a problem between the Vision M and some versions of XP
WHY DO YA SUPPOSE THEY DON'T TELL YA THAT WHEN YOU BUY THEM???
ok
I feel better now :0)

so this morning
I go out for coffee with my club
and then head over to the electronics store to exchange it
(just on the off chance that it was that particular player)
whereby I come across the most
derisive young woman
I have ever had the displeasure of speaking to
in the "electronics store" Customer Service Dept.
our little tete e tete resulted in my finally requesting my money back
and that she take a long look at her career path going forward....
if ya get my drift?

WW: I'd like to exchange this mp3 player
Her: uhhhmmm why?
WW: it won't connect with my computer
Her: uhhhmmm why?
WW: seems that the usb cord doesn't connect with my usb ports but everything else I plug into them works fine
Her: well I didn't ask for your life story
WW: seeing as you haven't offered...do you have anymore so that I could get an exchange?
Her: (looking around to see if anyone can hear her besides me) nope
WW: can ya look?
Her: don't have to - I know that we ain't got none
WW: may I have my money back please
Her: well uhhhhhmmm ok....but I don't know how to do that?
WW: can I speak to the manager please?
Her: No - you don't need to
WW: (getting louder) I didn't ask if you I needed to I said I wanted to
Her: Well there's no need to get snippy!
WW: (deep breaths)Get me the manager now!
Him: what can I do for you today?
WW: without a long drawn out explanation - I want my money back because you don't have any more Vision M's to exchange with
Him: then why did you want to see me?
WW: because I wasn't getting any customer service from your customer service rep
Him: ya well Tuesday is her last day so she's not so invested
WW: ya well neither am I - GIVE ME MY MONEY
Him: well ya don't have to get snippy!

I get my money - and enough paperwork to paper the bathroom walls and just for shits n giggles I go over to the audio dept to see what the price is of a different model same size - and low and behold there 9 of the damn things in the display case
Fuck Me!

I drove down the road to another electronic shop and got one there!
so wish me luck!

Merry Christmas

ok
I'm bracing myself
I leave this morning to drive up to my brother's house
he (aka "the golden boy") has to work boxing day
so that means that the VOD needs to be there
cos ever the martyr
she will need to be there
"just in case he needs something"

he's affected
he calls his kids "the children"
and while he has a good heart
he's like the rest of the family
suffering from the "road to hell is paved with good intentions"

the VOD is also in a flap
cos the blister (my virtually non-existant sister)
is alone this season
but she's alone cos she wants to be
after all - there's almost 100 members of our family
in that city she lives it
altho there is every possiblity that they've quit inviting her
cos she's following in her mother's footsteps
ever the martyr

and I will be
reading library books
and playing monopoly with the kids (16 & 14)
and hoping that I don't have to spend too much time
with the drunks
er
I mean family

jaded?
who me?

still
beyond all that

I pray for Peace
and Health
and Comfort and Joy
in the lives of my loved ones

May this season bring you everything you want
Bright Blessings all!

Life goes on....

yesterday turned out to be an aboslutely
abysmal day for me

it was "bring your dog to work day"
I suffered a complete emotional meltdown
in front of a whole bunch of complete strangers

nothin like a little weeping to humble you in front of strangers


but as life will do
I got home a wallowed for a while
I even spent some time surfing looking for dogs in my area to adopt
but I stopped myself because even when I'm upset I understand that it's too soon

and then I watched a movie called Hustle and Flow
(I'm about 2 years behind everyone else in the movie watching arena)

the thing about this movie is that it's about hope
and dreams
and I got both messages

I'm left with a feeling of renewal
and a need to apologize to the VOD
for being such an absolute PITA last night

this morning one of my pagan friends sent me a link to BlueBeat
it's a streaming audio site
I'm liking it (you know me and my music schtick!)
too bad there wasn't a way to link music here without having to learn to code!

anyway
life goes on....

Seasonal Sometimes....

I'm seasonally challenged

I'm having a hard time digging up
the old Christmas spirit
sometimes

then I spend some time
with one of my friends
who's children are truly stoked
about Christmas

and it all comes rushing back
the excitement
the glee
the tastes
the smell
it all comes rushing back!

I am the Moon

You are The Moon
Hope, expectation, Bright promises.
The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?

Take the Test to Find Out.

Again with the new job doesn't suck!

ok
my first day of work at the new job was Nov 13th
the legal day off for Remembrance Day
so my first day of work was a day off with pay

2 weeks ago we had a huge snow storm
and I had 2.5 days offwith pay due to the weather
cos the road into the job was closed

so last week we had a cocktail party
on Thursday
which meant I was off at 2:30 to go
and Thursday night there was a massive wind storm
that beat the shit out of coastal BC
and as a result we had no power at work on Friday
and I got the day off with pay

yesterday I get up bright and early
and head to work
to find out that we still don't have any power
so I was home by 10:00
with pay

I'm also off from the 23rd to the 2nd
so again
the new job doesn't suck!

Can I just say?

cooking without a dog in your home
is a whole different experience

now when I drop something
I have to sweep and wash the floor

gak!

Seasonal Wishes

From a Friend

"Awww, Wyz, So sorry.

This struck a nerve. We call our Yorkie Little Man.

We have many hounds for many purposes, but Little Man serves as a companion, and jester. Difficult to imagine life without the little turd.

I feel your pain.

Cherish your memories, and plant a tree in the little guys honor.

Loss of a companion of that order is devastating. Mutts are what makes life grand.
Much of the human attributes that we admire, come built in to dogs naturally. Loyalty, Courage, Strength, Forgiveness, Humor, and Selflessness come instinctively to mutts.

They just live in the moment, as though there were no tomorrow. Every one of them is like a comet. You can enjoy them for a brief moment, but you know you cant hold them.

When they pass, the sorrow that you feel is crushing. We have a German Shepherd that is 10 years old now. We know her time is short, and when she goes, there will be a big hole in our hearts-not to mention our red-neck security grid.

Damn! Sniff! God Bless all Muttz!"

~SloRide~

Life Wisdome...

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life..."it goes on".

~Robert Frost~

Alone

I have never before
been quite this alone

there is a texture to this quiet
that I am unfamiliar with

the smell and feel
of my home
has changed

it's not necessarily bad
it's just

alone

today I lost my best friend...

today I lost my best friend...

the little man that has been with me
through thick and thin
for 17 years

he was my confidant
and my pleasure

while I feel a need to tell people
I don't have words or patience for sorrow

I am bereft

I want for everyone
to be healthy and wealthy and wise

I want people to stop the childish bickering

I want food on everyone's table
and I want world peace dammit

but mostly
I want that little brown bundle of joy back

Half a Cup o Cocoa
1989 - 2006
R.I.P.

"little man"

Mixed Emotions

I had a "reunion" of my team from my old job last night
it left me feeling happy and sad

it made me so happy to see so many of those people again
but it made me sad to realize how very much I miss them
and that while my new job is wonderful for my future
it's my past job that brought me strength, and laughter and friends

I got home to be reminded
that my 17 year old dog is dying
he's beyond sick
he doesn't smell good
and today he can hardly move
and he has an appt at the vet on Sunday
that likely will mean that I have to put him down
and that breaks my heart
because at the risk of sounding like a complete failure life wise
he is my longest standing relationship...

I woke up this morning feeling lost
then I get an email from my eldest cousin
who is kinda a recluse
talking about a recent spate of family reminiscence
about my deceased grandfather....

he says: "By my Father’s lights and most other Family with whomI have discussed it, HWB was a supreme asshole, a wife beater and a child molester. Why is it that everyone is revering him on this Remembrance Day? Inquiring minds, etc:"

I sat and thought about it for a bit and this was my reply:

"I think it’s got something to do with their age Cousin...I think that all of them have come to points in their life when they’ve either come to terms with their anger/hatred with him – or are simply too tired to fight about him anymore …or like my dad – they’ve dealt with it via their faith – I’m not saying its right or wrong...It’s just that their humanity requires that they come to some sort of “understanding” about their feelings over him.....cos at the end of the day – he was their father – and they see themselves in him and the only way that they can deal with that is to forgive him…forgive but not forget"

sometimes this business of living life
ain't what it's cracked up to be.
we get up every morning
and we force ourselves thru the things that make up our days
we pretend that we're normal
and we examine why we are happy or sad

but in the end
there is only the end

so is in not our responsibility
to feel
to feel as much
about as much
as we can?

is it not our responsibility
to try to understand
to understand as much
about as much
as we can?

is it not our responsibility
to love
to love as many
as long
as we can?

Devil Ducks Rock!

Nuff said?

Christmas With Sheldon....

I wrote this story several years ago....but I find it bears repeating:


For years and years I too hated Christmas…too much brouhaha in my books…then I had a Christmas epiphany…no small feat for a non-Christian…but here goes

I always put huge store in Christmas…because I was raised in a huge family and I had believed all my life that "family" is what Christmas was about…My Father’s birthday is the twenty-third and my uncle’s is the twenty-fifth and as a child we always did the big Christmas/birthday celebration…but as time goes on things change and you discover that "family" are people too…and they have foibles…they mess up…and things never quite live up to your expectations.

In the early ‘90’s my Mother moved to BC leaving me to live in the old family home in Thunder Bay. My brother was newly married to woman that put the "C" in control. (and another word that I won’t use here!) She didn’t like cooking when I was around and for many years I thought it was cos she was intimidated by the fact that I have my chef’s papers…turns out she’s just lazy, opinionated and lazy…but that’s another story.

So Mom moves to BC, Dad and my sister are in Toronto and I am faced with the prospect of cooking the whole Christmas shebang at my brother and sister-in-law’s house. My sister-in-law has invited her whole family so I am cooking a 27lb turkey and all the trimmings. Two kinds of stuffing (one for each end) 3 kinds of salad and 4 vegetables, mashed spuds, gravy, pickles etc etc and top it all off with Figgie Pudding…(I’m from a go big er go home kinda family)

Five days before Christmas my sister-in-law calls me and informs me that I am "allowed" to come to her house for an hour between 6 and 7 AM to stuff the bird and put it in the oven…but then I need to leave for the day so she can have some "quality" time with her family.

Can you guess where I told her to put her bird? ~ahem~

So the Christmas dawns and I am alone. I am not answering the phone…and I am depressed….as my Grampy used to say, "I am lower than whale shit and that is on the bottom of the ocean! We are having a good old North Western Ontario blizzard and as I listen to the radio I am overcome both with the concept that I can’t get away from Christmas (it’s just freakin everywhere) and that I am alone. So I jump in my truck and head out to the local truck stop for breakfast. Somewhere where there’s people and noise.

On my way to the truck stop I drive past the Greyhound Bus Depot and while it is closed I spot and elderly man in a summer weight suit huddled in the doorway.

I drive by…then go around the block and drive by again. Something about this situation tweaks my conscience and I cannot get the picture of this man out of my head.

On my third pass I pull into the parking lot and lean out my window. "Are you ok?" I ask. This tiny elderly fellow looks up at me and with tears running down his face says, "I’ll do."

"Well no…he won’t do." I think as I watch him shiver and shudder. So I offer to let him in my truck. I’m thinking that if it turns out he’s got a gun…I certainly won’t feel any worse off than I already do this Christmas.

At first he refuses. But then with some cajoling and conversation he eventually climbs in and I take him to the truck stop to warm him up and maybe get him some food. He refuses to eat but allows as I could buy him a "cup of cocoa".

As he thaws out he tells me his story. He tells me his name is Sheldon Shepherd. He left Vancouver 3 days ago on his way to London ON to spend Christmas with his family. He was traveling by Greyhound. In the bathroom in the Thunder Bay bus terminal he is mugged…robbed…and knocked out. Because he is old school and won’t ask for help when he comes to… he doesn’t tell anyone, his grandkid’s Christmas presents are gone, as is his coat and wallet. He finds himself outside of the depot, the depot closed, in a blizzard with a lump on his head the size of Santa. Areas of his story seem lacking to me…but he’s got this lump and no coat and no money…so…

I am filled with righteous indignation and I insist that he allow me to call the police. They come and after all is said and done I find out that they can get him another bus ticket to London but they have to find a judge to authorize the funds and besides there is no bus running thru till the twenty-sixth. One of the police officers suggests that this sad soul go to the local homeless shelter. I’ve never been there but I know where it is so I agree to drive him there.

Sheldon is quiet on his way to the shelter. He confides in me as we are pulling into the parking lot that he’s never had to accept charity before and not comfortable with it now. I fully understand. I have never been able to look a homeless person in the eye. I have always been consumed with guilt and the thought that there but for the grace of all the gods go I.

In we go. My first impression was that we were entering a jail. We walked in thru the front door to be confronted with locked double doors and a "security guard". Sheldon is pulling back so I tell the guard his story and the guard opens the locked doors to allow us into the shelter telling us to "find Rick".

As we enter I am assaulted by a cacophony of sounds and smells….lots of them not pleasant. There is a riot of color and furniture and bodies everywhere…there are people sleeping standing up against walls and on the stairs and tired used old blankets clutched in dirty little children’s fingers.

Slowly as I become accustomed to the "ambiance" I begin to see Christmas in this room. There are bits of tinsel hanging from dirty stocking caps set jauntily over dirty faces. There’s what can only be called a Charlie Brown Christmas tree in the corner and there are new socks and new gloves on many hands and feet…and lots of the people that are awake are smiling. I don’t understand.

Across the room is the big serving window to the kitchen but I see no one on the other side…as I start across the room I hear the unmistakable sound of dishes smashing to the floor and a resounding "Damn it!" from behind the wall. I peek around a see a harried fellow, in half a Santa suit picking up broken dishes and muttering.

"Rick?" I ask. This frantic man turns to me and blesses me with the biggest gap tooth smile and says…"yup…hiya! What can I do for you?"

I explain Sheldon’s story and Rick tells me no problem he can stay here over night. He then turns to Sheldon and says,"I don’t suppose you can cook?"

"Why?" says Sheldon and I at once. Turns out that the volunteer church group that was to cook the shelter’s Christmas dinner won’t be coming because of the storm. Rick says that Christmas is always a banner time for the shelter food wise…"people assuage their guilt by giving at Christmas". The end result is that he has tons of food and no cooks.

"Hmmmmmm," says I, "maybe I can help"

Long story short…we have Christmas dinner for close to 200. Sheldon isn’t a cook but he’s a mean dishwasher and clean up kinda guy…and we recruit a couple of people from the shelter and we are off… We have beef and turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing made in pans instead of in the bird and spaghetti with sauce and chocolate pudding.

We have Christmas Carols and laughter and hugs and tears and handclasps from dirty little fingers. By 10 PM I am completely and totally physically exhausted, sweaty and hot, hot, hot… but as I turn to survey the room I have an epiphany.

Christmas is not about receiving the love from my family that I believe is my due. It truly is about the giving. In any way shape or form.

Sheldon passed away in 1996 but I still hear from his daughter Janice…once a year at Christmas. And that’s the best that I can do.

Peacock Poop

today I received
in my email
at work...

a reminder
from the University
that it is not
in our best interests
health wise
to not wear shoes
while on the property
or working
in any of the buildings
that house the Uni

cos of the
Peacock Poop

the Uni
is the home of some
fantastic
world class
gardens
and 16 peacocks

and the peacocks
range free on all of the
595 acres of Uni property

which means that
even when we are indoors
we have tracked
literally tons
of peacock poop
onto the carpets

ok?
Can I just say?
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

And so....

the Season begins....

from my new job...

Season’s Greetings

From the "It never rains but it pours" file....

I'm still up to my ass in snow - and the building manager has been conspicuous in his absence - so no news on the flooding front....

the knee I fell on his healing but I've done something to my left achilles tendon again

the car that I took in for an oil change last Saturday has to go back in today cos the "service soon" light on the dash won't go out since they had it

the MackDaddy Dell that I bought in August may have to go back to Dell cos both DVD drives won't work - all of a sudden- they'll not play video at the moment - I was on the phone with Dell Tech till midnight last night - and I ain't happy

annnnnnnnnd - the VOD seems to be sick - she upchucked all day yesterday which is some kinda world record cos she'd rather you cut out her tongue and both legs than throw up - so I know she ain't right

Fuck eh?
I need a holiday!

Coming Home...

Well I’ve been down to Georgia

I’ve seen the streets in the west

I’ve driven down the 90,

hell I’ve seen America’s best

I’ve been through the Rockies,

I’ve seen Saskatoon

I’ve driven down the highway 1,
I just hope that I’d see you soon

Cause I’m coming home,
I’m coming home

I’ve never been to Alaska,
but I can tell you this

I’ve been to Lincoln, Nebraska
and hell you know it aint worth shit

I’ve been through Nova Scotia,
Sydney to Halifax

I’ll never take any pictures
cause I know I’ll just be right back

Cause I’m coming home,
I’m coming home

I’ve seen palaces in London;
I’ve seen a castle in Wales

But I’d rather wake up beside you
and breathe that ol ’familiar smell

I never thought you could leave me,
I figured I was the one

But I understand your sadness,
so I guess I should just hold my tongue

But I’m coming home,

I’m coming home

I know we’re takin’ chances,
you told me life was a risk

But I have just one last question…

Will it be my heart

or will it be his?

Coming home ,
I’m coming home

~City and Colour!

I have an asshole attractor

I have an asshole attractorand I'd like to have it surgically removed
please?

I just got sent home from work…Cos I arrived at work this morning and immediately did a half gainer and banged up my knee pretty bad (seems that my father is destined to bang up his feet and I am destined to bang up my knees)

Soo – I drove home in the snow – it’s snowing again (although they are calling for rain later) it’s that light dusty snow that you get when it’s cold – but there’s enough of it that it is covering all that skating rink from the last 2 days – which is how I banged up my knee – but that’s another story!

People get stupid in inclement weather…it’s like it gets cold and their brains freeze er something….I just spent 15 minutes waiting to get in my driveway cos some boob had parked his car in the driveway and went across the street to the school – and when he comes out of the school he’s like all farklempt cos he’s in the way…and barely able to speak in syllables....he’s obviously a couple of French fries short a Happy Meal…

”duh oh?….am I in the way?”
“well ya – COS YER PARKED IN MY DRIVEWAY!”
“Oh – well how wuz I supposed to know? – that it’s a driveway I mean?”
“well I suppose those 4 big honking signs that say ”Brentwood Villa Driveway No Parking Allowed” might have been a dead giveaway!”
“well I didn’t want to park at the school cos there’s snow there”
“well there’s snow here and I’ve been holding up traffic for 15 minutes while I try to get in my driveway”
“well fine –but I still don’t know why yer upset”
Gak!!! “I’ve got an idea – why don’t I go park up against yer front door so you can’t go home and we’ll see how you like it?”
“bitch”
*sigh*….”just get outta my driveway”

Don’tcha just love snow? cos there's surely no cure for stupid!

Quick n Easy Soup

alla Rachael Ray

one lg onion diced
4 stalks of celery diced
1 lg carrot diced

heat in a large dutch oven some EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)
saute veg till glace (soft)

pour in 1 carton of Chicken broth
stir in one can of diced tomates
add 1 pkg store bought gnocchi

(she also put meatballs made of fresh ground chicken or turkey with a little herb to taste - but I wouldn't be able to boil em - I'd have to fry em first!)

presto chango - home made soup for supper!

It's official

ok
it's official
I'm old and fat and tired
I just went out and dug my car outta the snow
I am exhausted

I think I need a martini or 9!
The PNW does not know how to deal with snow!
the city of Victoria owns 6 dump trucks that they have fixed blades to the front of and are calling them "snowplows"
the schools and universities are all closed
the goverenment offices and banks are closed
the city transit has stopped
even the cops are staying home
there's no phone service on half the island
all the Southern Gulf Islands don't have power and much of the city of Victoria doesn't either
we didn't have TV cable or DSL till about half an hour ago

I keep hearing that tune by REM in my head "it's the end of the world as we know it!!"
it's a little snow people....these's people need to learn to relax

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

so
here we are
in the PNW
up to our eyeballs in
white out conditions

people on this island
just don't know how to drive in this stuff
they just really freak out
what a hoot!

I went for coffee with my riding club this morning
the 20 min trip home took well over an hour
and people are just getting outta there cars
and leaving them in the middle of the road
and walking away

I swear I didn't get above 30 kms alla way home
in the "old lady mobile"

One thing about driving an old car
is that it's built like a tank
and heavy enough to not need sandbags
hehehehe

I'm comin up the highway on my way home
and there's a lady in a brand new Infinity
sitting broadside on the road
over both North bound lanes

the lady was standing beside the car weeping
cos she couldn't get it straightened out on the road
I put on my 4 ways and got out
told her to try straightening out her wheels
and turning slowly
she was having any of that and just
continued to wail like it was armagedon
so I turned it for her....
people like that give women drivers a bad name!

I get to the bottom of the hill for the turn off to my burb
and there's bumper to bumper cars on the highway
standing still
like parked

so I drove around the long way
thereby missing the big hill
but here I am on my way along the street I live on
and here comes a guy
walking his dog
in shorts
a tshirt
and flip flops

Gotta love them Canadians eh?

boredom and the weather

after 3 years of
spending each and every day
going like
a bat outta hell

I'm finding myself bored
the new job is boring
there's no doubt about it

I wonder if
I might have made an error
thinking that this job
would be exciting

all of this is
of course
compounded by the fact
that it's raining
cats and dogs this month
so I'm not riding

and we all know that
this makes the WyzWmn
a very kranky person :o)

the people I work with
are pretty taken with themselves
and have control issues

and I'm still waiting to get my desk moved
so I haven't moved in yet

I remember when my cousin
started working there 2 years ago
she went thru the same thing
that whole "there's not enough to do"

but I bet that I will make this job
more interesting or exciting
I bet it's just gonna take some time

and in the meantime
them granola eaters I work with
won't know what hit em!

I'm Getting Old...

Sooo…

I’ve had this problem where often when I wake up in the morning it feels like there is something sharp in my left eye….it runs like crazy which causes my sinuses to go nuts…it often causes my right eye to react as well…and it is super sensitive to light first thing in the morning

I talked to my eye Dr who suggested warm compresses in the morning when it happens cos it doesn't happen all the time - the compresses help the headache, the eyes and sinus issue caused by the eyes but not the pain in my eye or the non-stop leaking…sometimes it stops by the time I leave home to go to work but sometimes I can't drive and have to pull over for a while on my way to work ....that’s what happened at the last summer at the Camperee and I ended up not being able to do the whole Mt Washington thing cos I couldn't see to ride….

I hate it when my face leaks for no apparent reason!

I found out today that this problem that I've been battling on and off for the last 2 years is called “lagophthalmos” ….Which basically means I sometimes sleep with my eye open a crack and the pain is actually that my eye has dried out – and then the weeping is my body’s feeble attempt to rectify the drying out of the eye….apparently it’s probably precipitated by the position of my head on the pillow er sommat.

My options are to use an eye gel at night called TGel or if it gets worse and I actually start to sleep with my eyes open...the two best methods are, 1, tape the eyes closed with hypoallergenic paper tape, or 2, wear swimmers goggles with just a touch of Vaseline around the gaskets (creates a moisture chamber).

I don’t see either of these later 2 options being conducive to ever having a sex life again – not that I foresee that in my near future – but hey – hope springs eternal eh?
Apparently as my symptoms are relatively simple (not a full blown case) there’s every possibility I can cure it with taking large doses of Omega 3 fatty acids from flax and fish oil.

So I’m for taking flax oil and putting gel in my eyes at night!

Ain't gettin old grand?

Canadian-isms

On CBC Newsworld today Evan Solomon had a discussion about distinctly Canadian words.

Not necessarily new words but could be - or words that we use in a different way.
eg. Dr. Strangelove likes "two-four" to describe a case of beer.
My Dad likes the word "sauce" as in "today is Grey Cup Day and I may get into the sauce."

My favorite distinctly Canadian word is “bush” as in “we went hiking in the bush looking for blueberries” everywhere else in the world they use “woods” or “forest” we use “bush” (not to be compared or used in any way shape or forum to that duffus in Washington)

But in speaking of “sauce" ....
in ON people say that they are going to pick up a “box” of beer and most Ontarionians think “two-four”

but in BC when you suggest you’ll bring a box of beer you friends may suggest that you bring more than one as a “box” is 6 beer while a “two-four” is a “flat”

Yet another reason for my sister to think the province is evil?

Just in case ya thought

Just in case
ya thought
I mighta
forgot

lemme just tell ya......

Devil Ducks Rock!

and I miss each and every one of you
even those of you that have been prone
to pissin me off regular like!

From the Staff newsletter

Hello from Continuing Studies
A warm welcome to WyzWmn, who joins the Continuing Studies team this week as our new Learning Support Associate. Wyz comes to us from an illustrious background steeped in engagement, customer service, and a culture of care. An administrative wizard with well developed critical thinking skills, you can find her in "building" busily learning the systems here at the University. Be sure to drop in and say hello. We are thrilled she is with us. Submitted by XXXX, Director, Continuing Studies

*boy - are they in for a surprise**snicker snicker snort chortle*

the new job

Hmmmmmmmmm – the benefit package is virtually the same as the provincial gov’t

The part that I find hard is that people that work in academia are so fucking sure that they “know” more than anyone else…that they’re more real or more in touch with their feminine side or the planet er sommat

ya’ll gotta know how I’m dealin with that…they need my “special kind of love” that’s for sure

But the work itself so far is fine

As a matter of fact I’ve actually experienced some residue guilt – I mean on my last job I showed up at 8:15 to 8:30 for a 9 AM start and pounded work from 8:15 to 5:30 for a 5PM shift end
just to stay on top

and mostly so far I’ve been sharpening pencils and checking out how poorly stuff is run and coming up with plans to get that kinda stuff worked out for the future..

I've been lucky in that the young woman that was the temp doing the job has stayed on for a couple of weeks to "show me the ropes" but she couldn't find her arse with a compass and a map so while she is familiar with all the external people we deal with - she's pretty much driving me nuts with her complete lack of organization

It's all about a learning curve - and it ain't gonna take much for me to organize this place I don't think - because the new boss is up for "change" with a big C

So yesterday a “logistical planner” visited me so I could arrange to have my office rearranged…I need the desk turned around to face the door and a couple of partitions moved….they are gonna "draw something up and get back to me" so it should be done by Christmas – holy crap eh?

Bureaucracy at it’s finest at a University…but I’ll get used to it

Watch me!

Ya know what?

Ya know what pisses me off?

at the moment...?

the freakin rain in the PNW and the deadbeat building manager that says he fixed the freakin leak over the valance in the livingroom!

but noooooo
and I come home to 1/3 of my freakin living room under water again!
an antique Vilas Maple chair doing the gawd damn backstroke
it's really too bad that damn property management company isn't open at night
cos I'd be giving that asshole
a hemrrhoid operation with that damn chair!

I'm PISSED LARGE!

Can I Just Say?

There’s something inherently humbling
In going from being a big fish in a small pond
To not having a clue what body of water you are in!!

Thank you
And have a nice day :o)

First Day - New Job

the new job was surprisingly
anticlimactic
after the send off
I got from the old one

after 3 years of
driving the numbers
and run run run

sitting around
and trying to figure out
all the new stuff
was kinda strange
but
pleasant strange

I think I will have no problem
carving a niche out there for myself
and I'm hoping to make myself
a valuable member of the team

stay tuned!

New Day

today is the first day
of my new job

and of course
as a result
I barely slept all night

cos there's nothing like
showing up at a new job
feeling like you've been
hit by a truck

to make your day complete!
stay tuned!

Impact...

well then...it's over

a chapter of my life that has completely consumed the last 3 years

by 10 AM yesterday I just wanted to beat feet out the door
again with the tears...

I cried on and off all day
people came by and said the most amazing things to me
about me
I am bereft...

I received more cards, and kudos
more heartfelt congratulations and thanks
and more chocolate (these people know me soo well!)

members of my team came in on their day off to say goodbye
and
one lady even came by on her day off
just to drop off some cookies that she'd baked just for me

by 10 I just wanted it to be over
I was completely overwhelmed
and sooo out of my element
I wanted to hide in the bathroom

but I realized that there just comes a time when you have to stop joking
and accept what people are saying about you
to you
with grace
(I can hear my mother's voice speaking to the time my Dad's mother counseled her to "just say thankyou gracefully")

around 3 a fellow stopped by my desk
works in another department
we've been acquainted for a little over a year
we've joked on occasion

he stood at my desk
his hand over his mouth
visibly shaken
for minutes

he pulled his hand away from his face
and said...with tears in his eyes...
"I am a better person for having known you...thank you"

he shook my hand
and walked away.

as he walked away
I sat staring at his back
my mouth hanging open
the tears began again
as I began to think
about impact...

began to think about how we can impact people's lives profoundly
and never really know that we have
and about how very few people
have the privileged of finding out
how they've contributed to or impacted
other's lives
and what an amazing blessing it was
to have been allowed this time
and to have the ability
to end this chapter with grace

at the end of the day
everyone hugged me goodbye
and many of us cried again

I walked out the door
barely hanging on
and as I climbed into my car
I had one brief moment
of hysteria...

"this is wrong...go back
go back...you can fix this
you can stay"

I wiped my face
blew my nose
and started the car

there were more kudos when I got home...

and a lovely blog post from my sister wise Bee...

but it's done...
and so begins the next chapter

Then End....

When I announced a week ago that I was leaving I almost ended up with a batch resignations on my desk - the team wanted to leave - but I pulled them off the phones and into a meeting room and coached them not to burn bridges or make decisions around what's going on in my life - that their decisions need to be based on their lives...mouths to feed, mortgages to pay etc...

Yesterday I had a party during my last team meeting to talk to them and to give them little gifts to remember me by - our team is called the Devil Ducks after a little rubber devil bathtub duck and it has been for 2 years ....so I presented each of them with a devil duck and had printed a little card and tied it with a ribbon around the duck's necks - the cards read "you will always be a Duck - you just have to believe in yourself as much as I believe in you -- Believe!"

Lots of us cried - and they'd also got me some presents and a big cake that was decorated with all my sayings.....and a couple of the cards with the nicest send off messages....

Then the door opens and every Team Lead and Sup and Ops Manager in the barn came filing in and they sang "for she's a jolly good fellow" and the Sup from hell made a speech about how he's learned something about keeping the humanity in management from me and that I have definitely made an ongoing impact at the Corp - and that I dragged them all kicking and screaming into managing with compassion and real feelings and that I will truly be missed - and made me cry all over again - I told them that they'd finally found a way to shut me up!

Today will be my last day - and a little easier in some ways and a lot harder in others...I will miss my team desperately - but they are friends now and I like to think that they will stay in touch....I've been able to secure a good new TL for them - a fellow that was originally from my team and has been temping for a yr made TL so I do my handover today - finish clearing out my desk and then it's on to the new life!

Kinda chrysalis like

I start Tuesday and I am sooo stoked!

Spray Can Painting

this is some pretty awesome stuff...

More Good News...

earlier this year
I spoke about my incentive...

my Wakeup Call
or
the Price of my Soul....

to stay in Hell

I made the decision
to move to the new job
and all it's attractions
and
possibilities
without confirming what the
full package is

turns out that full benefits
start the day I start

so the price of my soul
has been met....

and I am pleased!

more and more all the time
it just seems to me
that the new job
was meant to be!

Happy Frosty/Beaver Moon!

Tuff Day

yesterday
was not an easy day
for me....

it was, as they say,
bittersweet

I told my team
that I am leaving
next Friday

which made my friend Tami
cry
which made me cry
which made more of us cry
and resulted in
me crying on and off all day long

fuck eh?

but I told them the truth
I told them in no uncertain terms
that they are all smart
intelligent
ethical
integral people
that they have "skills"
and that they need to believe
in themselves
as much
as I believe in them

I think I even did
a little begging
that none of them be
so resistant to change
that they burn their bridges
cos they have mouths to feed
and mortgages to pay
etc etc

I hope they believe me
when I say
that
should they decided
that the time for greater change
is upon them
I will do
anything I can to assist
even so far
as to go into
the grand poohbah's office
and beg him
to keep the team together
and give them someone
as strong and smart
tough and wise
fun and humorous
as they need
to keep them together

and if
and when
they do
decide to move on...

I'm a resume writer
extraordinaire
and
will always be their friend

I feel like there should be fanfare!

I have news!

Officially as of last night at 5:30PM….I have just been offered a position at Royal Roads University and I have accepted and will be starting Nov 13th…..3 years to the day from the start day of my current job…in Hell

I will be one of 2 Learning Associates in the brand new Continuing Studies division of RRU…which pretty much means that I will be sharing the administrative load in an exciting new adventure for the University.

The company I have worked for over the last 3 years has taught me a lot about who and what I don’t want to be for the rest of my life…I’m hoping that this new endeavor will give me a chance to grow towards being the person I can be….at the very least the scenery will improve immensely!

I’m stoked!

I will make about $10,000.00 more a year plus a mondo benefits package that is at about 18% of the wage and there’s room for advancement….and no one will be timing my trips to the rest room any more…it’s a 20 min drive but the campus is beautiful...it's a freakin castle after all!

Friday Nov 10th will be my last day at at my current job - and the only fly in the ointment is that I have worked with many of the group currently working for me for 2 years - and been able to positively effect change on their behalf - so I'll miss them terribly...

but for the most part....it's pretty damn cool if ya ask me… Wahoooooooooo!

OMG!

OMG!

OMG!

OMG!

I've just been offered a position

at a presitgeous Candian University

in the Continuing Studies Division

I'm sooo freakin excitied I can't stand it

(and frankly just a little scared)

OMG!

(details to follow!)

Success in Hell

so....
here's the question of the day...

if yer successful in Hell
does that make you good or bad?

is that a "real" success?
or
are ya just lulling yourself
into
complacency?

ya'll know
that I work in a place that I have
referred to
as Hell
on more than one occasion

well right now...
I'm enjoying a success of sorts
a success in that
I'm heading up a couple of projects
and I'm being noticed by people
who think I "can go places"
in the organization...

does this make me successful?
or isn't that kinda like saying
I'm a good loser?
or good at being the best loser?

striving every day
to consciously aspire
to integrity
to honesty
to being a better person

is a tuff road to hoe
in this business
of back stabbing
and muck wracking
and generally getting ahead
by standing on the foreheads of others

it is specially
a tuff road to hoe
when the very person
that is supposed to be
coaching and assisting you
to aspire to be your best
is busy taking all the credit
for all your hard work.

sometimes
it makes a girl wonder
why she bothers
to get outta bed in the morning

so...again I ask...
if yer successful in Hell
does that make you good or bad?

All Hallow's Eve deux

I have a friend
who carves pumpkins
and sells them
at this time of year
this is her busiest week
of the year!

All Hallow's Eve

How WyzWmn got Wize?

I'm often asked
how I got to be
WyzWmn©

"WyzWmn" - sic WiseWoman

"Brief moments of lucidity liberally inter-dispersed with abject stupidity!"

I'm a story teller and apparently people think it makes me wise - I vote for mouthy :o)

I got my nic close to..
*ahem*
35 yrs ago
when all my friends
were younger than I
and they felt that
I was the older
more mature person
and cos my dad was a cop
and I knew all the tricks
to keep us from getting busted

it just sorta snowballed from there...

being of the motorcycling persuasion
people have always felt a need to tack nicknames on me
for many years in my youth
I was also known as "PMS365"
cos
apparently I was cranky
so much so that my neice and nephew
still call me "Aunty Kranky"
(but it's ok cos they call my sister "Aunty Krazy"
and the VOD
is known as "Gramma Candy"
my brother is known as "the Golden Boy"
and my Dad is "Digger" cos his father was a funeral director )

so apparently I come from a nickname heavy family

and I do sooo love to tell a story now don't I?

Mazzy Star

~Into Dust~

Still falling

Breathless and on again

Inside today

Beside me today

A round broken in two

'til your eyes shed into dust

Like two strangers turning into dust

'til my hand shook the way of fear

I could possibly be fading

Or have something more to gain

I could feel myself growing colder

I could feel myself under your fate

Under...your fate

It was you

breathless and tall

I could feel my eyes turning into dust

And two strangers turning into dust

Turning into dust.

Old Friend

I have a 17 year old toy poodle
his name is Half a Cup o Cocoa
and he's been with me through
thick and thin
(that's a thick waist and thin options)
thru everything for 17 years

I got up early today to take him to the groomer
he needs a haircut bad
and he won't let me cut it

over the last year or so
every time I take him
she and I have a talk about how
she should respond should he stroke out
on the table
or in the bathtub

my answer is always a terse
"let him go"
I don't want him to suffer
but I sure don't want him gone

funny thing
I'd always had big dogs
rottweillers and doberman pincers
and shepherds and huskies

when I got sick enough
that I wasn't going out of the house
for days on end
my mother and brother
brought me this little brown bundle
about the size of a cup

and I was immediatley in love
here I am 17 years later
thinking about him no longer being here
it isn't pretty

I have some great stories about his antics over the years
but the best tribute I can give him
is that he is my longest standing relationship

and again
tho I don't want him to be in pain
I really don't think I'm ready for him to be gone

Lucky Friday...

was it lucky?
I don't know yet

my fellow Pagans believe

it to be a powerful day
and bikers have been blessed

with a Friday the 13th
party of monumental scale
in this country
for years....

so...

I had a job interview today
it was kinda hard

since I lost the resume

I'd been tooling for years

ya know what my problem is?

I think it's that I have a real discomfort

asking people to be my reference/for help

it's kinda like I think

that my work stands for itself
so I shouldn't have to ask

or tell them

people should just know

how arrogant is that eh?

or maybe I have a secret fear
that no one will say anything nice
so I'm scared to ask

I R an idiot sometimes

I've often been told that whenever
I'm asked that 'awful' question
"what do you feel is your worst attribute?"
I should answer,

"my tendency to undersell myself"
but that freaks me out too!

so I had the interview at 9 this morning
it was for an up and coming industrial company
that has grown so fast

they can't even keep up with the pencils
let alone the computers and offices

I think the interview went well
these 2 women spent all their time
trying to scare me outta taking the job
but I don't scare so easy

they''re big problem is
that as much as they need someone like me
to "jack of all administrative trades" them...

they don't wanna pay for someone like me

I told them I wasn't leaving where I am

for less than $$.00 an hour and full benefits
and that I wanted a 3 mth review

with the possibility of 10 to 13% raise at that point

cos by then they'd know

just how indispensable I am :o)

but I am well aware

of the wage disparity on this Island
I am oooh so familiar with the

concept that they pay us less here
for the profound pleasure of

living in Canada's Garden of Eden...

altho who's idea that was I'll never know

I'd surely make 25.00 to 45.00 an hour

across the country
for the same level of management

while I hate having to lay it out like that...
it's been made painfully obvious to me
that I'm never gonna make more money
at "the company who shall remain nameless"
and I've been there 3 freakin years!!

(under a normal circumstance

a girl likes to be kissed

when that's happening!)

besides I would sincerely like
to make more money than I am now
I don't need to make a million

So - is Friday the 13th to be my lucky day?
but a couple more bucks wouldn't suck

Sentimental Journey

I've lived in BC almost 10 years now - all of that on the Island...and I love it - but at this time of year I miss ON, I miss the fall season's changing colors, and the sunrise over the Sleeping Giant on Lake Superior...a friend sent me these pix from the park on the hill behind the house I used to own in Thunder Bay... they likely won't be in the right order - but you'll understand...(we used to call those pix of the light thru the clouds "God Talking" in the North Superior...)

Hide and Seek

"Hide And Seek"

~Imogene Heap~

Where are we?

What the hell is going on?

The dust has only just begun to form,

Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.

Spin me round again and rub my eyes.

This can't be happening.

When busy streets a mess with people

would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.

Trains and sewing machines.

All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls

Where pleasure moments hung before.

The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this

still life.

Hide and seek.

Trains and sewing machines.

(Oh, you won't catch me around here)

Blood and tears,They were here first.Mmm, what you say?Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.

Mmm, what you say?

Mm, that it's all for the best?

Ah of course it is.

Mmm, what you say?

Mm, that it's just what we need?

And you decided this.

Mmm what you say?

What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.

Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.

Speak no feeling, no I dont believe you.

You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.

Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.

Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.

You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.

A Thanksgiving moment -

I'm having a Thanksgiving moment...

my family is doing Thanksgiving today
as I have to work tomorrow
nice of them...but
(there's always a but eh?)

I am truly happy that my mother (aka the Voice of Doom)
has made it thru the full year since she found out she had health issues
intact
but I swear to god
if I don't get some bloody separation from this woman
I may kill her myself!

we are to attend my cousin's house at 1 pm for family festivities
it takes her a minimum of 2 hours
to get her little old lady on
so why the hell is she actin like she's nothing to do today?
cos my brother
the golden boy
and his children will be here sometime today
so
she's all in a fuckin flutter
making sure that her house is perfect
cos he's coming
and he ain't even gonna stay at her house
they are stayin at the cousin's
cos there's more room

WTF?
I ask her when we will be leaving
and she says "we'll play it by ear"
which means
everyone else will be there at 1
and we'll roll in some time around 4
and in the interim I should be ready willing and able to leave at a moments notice
in case she changes her fucking mind

and then I'll have the profound pleasure
of watching them all get drunk as sot's
before pouring her into the car
to bring her home

WTF?
there are times when this business of being the eldest
carries some huge suckage.

Happy Fucking Thanksgiving